Dil se

The pink blanket

2011-12-03T02:41:00.000-08:00

A cute little boy once had a little pink blanket. He loved his blanket the most. He received it from the lovely nurses at the hospital where he was born and it was really a beautiful blanket, with pink flannel on one side and beautiful embroidery on the other side. He took his blanket every where, no matter what. He played with it, sat on it, slept with it, cuddled with it.

When he got upset, that's what his mom and dad used to calm and soothe him. When he started going to day care, he used to sit in one corner with his blanket when he missed his mommy and daddy. Winter or summer, no matter what climate, he just had to have that blanket. He was so attached to it that mom had to sneak it out of his hands when he slept to wash and dry it. And because the boy was so attached to his blanket, the "pink blankie" (as the boy called it) traveled places with him; to the zoo, to the movie halls, to the malls, on car and air trips, even got to go on a "merry go round" with him.

Then days changed to weeks, weeks to months and months to years and the blanket started fading and giving up threads, started showing wear and tears and the boy started growing up. So much so, that the blanket was now short of covering him up. But still the boy was not willing to give it up. It was still the "best blanket" for him in the "whole wide world"

And then the unbelievable happened. The boy decided to part with the blanket. First he decided to share and then declared that he would give the blanket.

if you have not yet figured out, then I am talking about my own kid and his fascinating pink blanket that he loved soooooooooo much throughout. He decided to give up his valuable comfy blanket to his li'l sister since "she is so little and the blanket will keep her really warm" (his exact words).

I was touched by this gesture of his because I knew how much he loved his blanket. And I am proud of the brotherly love he already has for his sister. May this love between you two bloom throughout the life.
And let me tell you my boy, I'll make sure to tell this incident to your sister when she is grown up enough to understand and still fights with you and comes running to me complaining "aayush bhaiya mujhe kuch nahin dete hain"

Love
Aayush and Kashvi's mom

It does't get easier the second time

2011-12-01T10:33:00.001-08:00

You think it gets easier the second time
It doesn't...take my word for it
The pain, the tears, the anxiety still remains the same
You still have that heavy feeling, that lump in the throat, those tears in the eyes when you leave
No, I am talking about something else
Leaving your kid at the day care
those mornings are the hardest
saying bye to a 2 month old baby who doesn't even realize yet that mommy is just about to leave and she'll be with the strangers for the day
And you leave heavy hearted just hoping that she'll be fine
and she won't cry and they'd take good care of her

And then those mornings when your toddler cries and yells and tells you that he doesn't like to stay at the after school care; he misses his mom over there
He has all the time to play and watch TV over there but he still loves to come back home and lay down with mommy and sister, just like he used to do before mommy went back to work.

I have been through this so much and so many times that I am not sure I can do this any more
And that's why I am so glad December is already here
because the new year has to begin with some new decisions and new challenges and hopefully some new changes for me, my kids and my family.
Amen to that !!

Confessions of a second time mom

2011-10-11T10:48:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am back, sort of !! Can't say completely back to my world of blogging, since my li'l one is still very little. And I have miles to go before I am done with the again-trying-to-get-used-to schedules of midnight feedings, 5 hour sleeps and "where-did-my-whole-day-go" routine.

Now, that I am in my post-preg status, for all those ever-so-optimsitic readers of my blog (who still come to my blog hoping I'd write someday), I have some confessions to make.
(Now let me warn you, these confessions may be the result of all those hormonal mish-mash going inside me, so what I confess today may not be valid let's say a month from now)

a) Surprise, surprise, surprise...I am missing being pregnant.Yes truly, really I am. Despite all those back aches, leg cramps, every damn discomfort I had which my doctors very easily termed as this-is-normal-in-this-phase, I am missing it. I am missing those kicks, that flutter, that feeling of someone being inside me and me and just me being the one having her.

b) I have days when I feel really really guilty for my older kid. All of a sudden, I have noticed a lot of changes in him, the mature way he handled the coming of a new born in the house, the way he adjusted and welcomed the baby and is willing to share everything with her and the exclusive love he feels for her.
Despite all this, on the days when I am not able to give him the attention I used to give him earlier, I feel guilty and am overwhelmed with it.

c) This pregnancy has calmed me down in ways I never thought I could be. I used to be so restless, so angry at certain things in life. But all of a sudden I have this feeling of content and peace which I may not be able to express but I just feel inside.

d) I can survive without sleep, without taking shower for 3 days in a row, survive in a milk stained t-shirt till evening but I just cannot survive without COFFEE. Since I am nursing, so I am fighting every urge I have to eat the foods that can cause discomfort to my girl and coffee being one of them. But I miss it so much; the flavor, the aroma. I have stopped passing in front of a Starbucks store, just because that pleasant aroma and the environment kills me at this time.

e) Every time the grandma (my MIL) makes a comment that my little girl looks just like her son (my husband) or her daughter (my SIL), I'll silently nod along but repeat this to myself under my breath: "Nopes, she is just me in all respect!!"

This phase, time time is precious and will never come back in my life. So I am savoring each and every moment of it. The tiredness, the fatigue, the sleeplessness: all have taken a back seat.
The only thing that is killing me in the back of my mind is how will I go back to work. But that is the matter for another post, another day. Till then, enjoy this:

So we have an Indian restaurant in our area (in fact the only One in our area) and one of the servers there is very talkative and friendly to my son. He is not so good at Hindi, still he manages to speak some hindi to the Indian customers that come there. Two days before my delivery date, my husband was there to pick up some food. That server walks to my husband and asks: "Aap doosre baap ban gaye? (Are you the second father yet?)" when he actually wanted to ask "Is your second kid already here?"
My husband was laughing so hard, he only nodded No on his question and came out.
I still tease my husband as "doosre baap"

And here she comes

2011-09-22T11:06:00.000-07:00

The wait is over; She was due to come on Sep 21, then doctors said let's bring her on Sep 15 but then she had her own plans and she decided to drag mom to hospital on Sep 10th night and landed in mom's and dad's arms on Sep 11.

And everytime I look at her, these lines come to my mind:

PS: One of my friends had put up this song as his status message on FB long time back when his daughter was born. I always remembered this song and hence the credit goes to him.

When did that happen?

2011-08-17T10:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday:

First day at the school
He said "Mom, I am super nervous"
I say "Aayush, There's nothing to be nervous about. Agreed it's a new school, but you have a new bag, new dress, new lunch box and you'll meet so many new friends and most of them you have already played with them a few times now (Thanks to some of the playdates some of the moms organised to ease new kids in the school)"
But even as I say these things to him, I am super super nervous for him
First because as I said, it was his first day
It was a change in the schedule also
His dad was also not here (had to travel)
and then I know my son, whenever he is upset, the first reaction his body shows is to throw up everything that went down his throat.
So I had decided to be fully prepared.
Didn't force him to eat even a bite more than whatever he wanted to eat
Packed an extra set of clothes for me and him
Packed some extra towels and a water bottle, just in case

Armed with the preparation, we set off from the home
The school is just 5 minutes from the house
Once we reached there, my heart (and not the mind) decided that I need to be cool and ease him into this phase
So , rather than taking the usual route of getting into the car drop off line, I parked my car and took him by myself into the class
Introduced myself to his teacher, took him to his designated desk,completely trying to ignore the stares I am getting from other kids as they are quietly doing their coloring assignment and mine is clinging to me, asking me to stay with him.
After a few rounds of hugs, "I love you's" and "Mom, please stay with me"
I somehow make myself strong and just hand him over to the teacher and walk out of the class
Once out, I wait there for a few minutes, just to gauge the situation
And then I hear his slow crying and asking for me
And even though it breaks my heart, I wait for a few seconds and then eventually walk out of there
Once out of the school, I just looked up at the sky and prayed in my heart to help him get adjusted to the new place, environment and people.

The scene and mood while pickup was completely different. All cheerful, happy and "I had a great day" smile. Along with the promises that he won't cry the next day.

And today:

As we get out of the house, in my mind, I am planning to drop him off to his class again today, just in order to ease his transition and may be give him some time to be comfortable with the idea of drop off. But as we enter the school complex, Aayush tells me "I want you to drop me off where other kids get down"
Me, still concerned in my heart ask him "Are you sure? I can drop you to the class. I have already talked to your teacher and she said it is fine for the first few days"
And he replies, with more confidence I am expecting, "No,I'll be fine. Drop me off where other kids are getting dropped"
Me, just to reconfirm, "Are you really sure?"
To which he says "I just told you so,mom, I'll be fine" (Guess, he was REALLY sure)
So, I get into the drop off line, and then when it is his turn, get down from my car, go to his side of the door to open it (since it has a child lock, he cannot open it from inside) to get him down. Once he is out, I am waiting for himto give a hug and say good bye and all, and all he does is "Mom, Watch out !! There are other cars coming from behind!!" By the time I could react, he turns and tells the teacher in charge of receiving the kids "Aayush Jain, KinderGarten, Ms Witzgall class please"
and poof, he's gone !!

And all I can think while on my way to work from there is
"When did he grow up so much? Where's the baby boy I gave birth to?"

And as I got thinking, I realized I'll have to accept this.
A part of me want him to grow up, but a part of me (secretly) still wants him to cling to me
I still love it when he insists on sleeping on my bed and cuddles with me in sleep
A part of me still want him to ask me help him dress him, or help him with new toy.
Whereas the new independent him, is all set to explore the skies of independence and self reliance.
I guess, I just have to give in and help him his exploration

(Sigh...) Another lesson learnt in parenting :-)

THE PROUST QUESTIONNAIRE

2011-08-06T10:45:00.000-07:00

I read about this questionnaire on Shobha De's blog and liked the questions, so decided to go ahead and put my responses to those.

What is your idea of happiness?
Doing what I like to do at that particular moment. It can be as simple as humming a melodeous song, playing with a kid, just sitting and watching a sunset or just being alone by myself, doing nothing.

What is your greatest fear?
Of losing the ones I love the most.

Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Am not a history buff, so very hard for me to say that.
But genetically, I have lots of traits from my mom, dad, my nani, my dadi and one of my bua too !!

Which living person do you most admire?
A lot of people; but in general anyone who is positive, has a good sense of humour and one I can relate to.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
My temper. I have no control over it and often regret when I lose it.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Selfishness, double standards, not keeping their word.

What is your greatest extravagance?
It has changed over the years. At one point of time, I was obsessed with greeting cards. I could not get out of a gift shop without buying a greeting card with nice wordings on it (Didn't matter that there was no forthcoming occassion to give it to anyone)

Then I moved to audio cassettes. I absolutely had to add a new audio cassette to my collection almost every week.

Then I moved to lipsticks, give me any shade !
Now it is accessories. I love to indulge in bracelets, earrings, necklaces, toerings, anything.

What is your favourite journey?
There was this one trip I took with just my sisters and brother, from delhi to Hissar once several years back. I had come back from US and we had to go there for my cousins marriage. My parents had already gone there a day before and they arranged a car for all of us to get there. I can still remember and miss every moment of that trip.

Other than that, I enjoy my frequent trips to my memory lane.
I go back there pretty often.

Who is your favourite painter?
I am not so much into paintings, so I don't have any favorites there.
I am more into music and RDB/Gulzar is my absolute favorite.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Being frank and direct. I have seen the people fire out worst of things on the pretext "I am very frank and direct. I do not keep anything inside me"
Well, I think they should !!

On what occasion do you lie?
When the truth is so harsh that it will break a heart or a relation.

What do you dislike most about your appearance?
Let's say it this way: I wish I was a bit taller.

Which living person do you most despise?
If you ask "most", there is one person and I would name that person on this platform.

What is your greatest regret?
Expressing my feelings in words for some when I shouldn't have
Never expressing my feelings in words for some when I should have.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My God, my family and my beliefs, in that order.

When and where were you happiest?
There is a part of my life I spent in Varanasi; that truly was the happiest phase of my life.

What is your present state of mind?
Very restless and confused and scared and anxious. Well, what else do you expect from a almost 32 week preggers :-)

How would you like to die?
I am very scared of death. So I can never plan how I'd like to die.
May be these lines can tell something:

"jab hum naa honge, jab humaaree khaank pe tum rukoge chalte chlate

ashkon se bheegee chaandanee mein yek sadaa see suno ge chalte chalte

wahee pe kahee hum tum se milenge, ban ke kalee, ban ke saba, baage wafa mein !!"

What is your favourite motto?
Live for the moment, because once gone, it will never be the same.

I enjoyed going through these questions as I searched within myself for the answers. If you find it interesting, go ahead and take it up too. Would love to read through your answers too !!

Comments and all

2011-07-19T10:45:00.000-07:00

I would have deleted the most recent comment on of my post as a spam, thinking it was along the same lines as this (which btw I found very interesting)
And I was reading this spam comment, I dissected it in my head, as if I was talking to this person:

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(Really? You mean it? I am floored by your appreciation. I mean what analysis did you find in a post written for my dad)

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(Oh,so you need a specialist to solve your problems in your house? Dude, let me first solve the problems in my life and my house, aapka number to baad mein aayega)

Seriously,I sometimes wonder how do spammers come up with the contents for spam messages? In all good sense, sometimes I do think they are pretty creative; if only this creativity could be channeled in some useful activity.

Anyways, this comment was eventually deleted. But this one, I luckily did not and realised it was not a SPAM but something I feel good about.
And here it is:

Hi Congratulations! The Directory of Best Indian Blogs is out and your nice blog figures in that. We thought, let's announce that to you. Since all blogs do not have emails clearly mentioned, we have taken the liberty of telling you of this by making a comment on your latest blogpost. Hope, you don't mind it. Happy blogging!

I actually googled "Best Indian Blogs Directory" and found the list and saw my name listed there.
Hence, an undeleted comment and a very happy me :-)

And it happens yet again

2011-07-15T08:20:00.000-07:00

Yes, the blasts, the killing, the chaos, the bloodshed; the same city attacked all over again
it all happened again yesterday
And with that, also happened the same old drama and dialogue-bazi from our politicians
Mr PM, today after the blasts you are saying , "Govt will do everything to prevent attacks in future"
Well, for a change, can you start doing something for today and stop putting off everything for tomorrow?
Whatever you are going to do to prevent future attacks, why was it not done before these blasts?
Were you waiting for these to happen to trigger off your action plans?

Incidentally, I watched the movie "A Wednesday" just last weekend again
And as I was reading all over the net about these blasts, some of the dialogues from this movie were playing in my head:

"Aapke ghar mein cockroach aate hai to aap use paalte nahi, maarte hai."
(And we believe in spending hundreds of thousands of rupees on making that cockroach let live a confortable life in jail)

"Logo mein gussa bahut hai, unhe aazmana band kijiye. We are resilient by force, and not by choice. Galti hamari hai. Humlog bahut jaldi ‘used to’ ho jaate hai. Ek aisa haadsa hota hai to channel badal badal ke sara maazra dekh liya. Sms kiya, phone kiya, shukr manaya ki humlog bach gaye aur phir us situation se ladne ke bajaye hum uske saath adjust karma shuru kar dete hai."

"Jo bomb blast hue, wo sirf ek terrorist activity nahi the, bahut bade sawaal the. Aur wo sawaal ye tha ki bhai, hum to tumhe isi tarah maarenge, tum kya kar loge?"
(Exactly, that's what the question is: Can we do anything or not? It's high time that this country stops hiding behind the policies of peace loving and following Gandhi principles. It is the era of "Either you let me live peacefully or I'll come back and get you")

Seriously, when will the politicians and policy makers in this country wake up?
Isn't the sounds of these blasts loud enough to make them hear what a common man in this country expects them to do?

The race is on

2011-06-24T11:29:00.000-07:00

Between the 2 kids to see who can make their mom pull out her hair.
One is not here yet (and he/she still manages to do that)
and other one, who has been here for little over 4 years, tries to act as if he has been in this world much much before we were here :-)

One thinks there is a massive playground inside and tries to play soccer, jumping jacks and somersaults, with little consideration for the little lady carrying him.

Other is busy making sure that when mom reaches home and parks the car, she enters the driveway in reverse gear and the car is parked with the wheels turned "thedha" (turned sideways) (** he is obsessed these days with where and how cars are parked). At other times, he is busy turning his own ride-on car upside down(and inspect some of the mechanics going in the rear of the car) and wrecking the lawns of the neighbours and claims the whole street in the neighbourhood to his own bike and his bike friends.

One has no other task during the day except to keep kicking me so hard I have to ask to calm down or to make me run to pee every half an hour.

And as for the other one,he has one standard answer when I refuse or don't give in to any of his tantrums "Mom, you are mean !!"
and me thinks: "Sure beta, that's why I am your mom!!"

I am still hoping that despite this kind of trailor, the movie ahead will still be worth watching
(and again hope is all I can do :-)
So, waht do all those parents who have already been through this phase say?
Does it get any better? Please say it does ..........

You made my day today

2011-06-20T19:03:00.000-07:00

Thanks a bunch to the not-so-familiar coworker of mine
you just made my day today with your pleasant comment
specially on days when I am immersed head-to-toe in work and trying to manage a huge schedule and a wobbly body with equally huge belly

Your sweet comment which said "I really think you look really beautiful these days. This is a special time, so enjoy it and don't let anyone bring you down" really perked me up.

There are some things which we all may know but at times, just need to hear it from someone else.
I am just at that phase.
Just when I was tired of listening nasty comments like
"You sure you not having twins? you sure look like you are going to have a bunch of them"
or
"You look like you are ready to pop any time now"
or
"You sure this one is going to wait for the whole time?" (My first one was born pre-term)

Seriously people, most of the times, these jokes don't amuse me. If you do not have something nice to say, just don't say anything.

So, between all these, your comments came like a breeze of fresh air.

A big and sincere thanks to you and I hope your day also turns out bright and happy as mine.

It is all about money, honey !!

2011-06-15T18:29:00.000-07:00

I have to accept that I am a financial buff. I like to keep track of what's going on in my bank accounts, have to know on a monthly basis what and where our money was spent, where are our investments and how are they doing and if I need to make some adjustments on that.

I like to read how to make the best use of my credit cards and the rewards points, best deals on online shopping and many many more.
And for the same reason, I do read a number of financial blogs too.

I seldom comment on them, since I consider myself such a newbie to this. I mean, there are all those people talking about the extreme measure they have been taking to build a financial nest for them so that they can retire earlier and to cut down on their expenses.

One of the blogs that I have recently started reading is that of Beks where she writes about her journey to pay off her debt and be debt free.

In one of her recent posts, she talked about the scars, the physical as well as financial and how each one of those taught her something.

Quoting from her blog:
"Next time you look at your credit report and it’s not what you’d wish it would be, you can be a little grateful for the scar. It’s a good reminder of what an idiot you were and how far you’ve come."

And that really got me thinking !! How true it is and such a bright way to look at things.

I am sure each one of you have had experiences that taught you a lesson or two about money in life. I have had quite a few of them and I am listing them here:

a) My dad used to have a business of his own. I remember seeing him at the highest point of his life, and then life,all of a sudden everything just disappeared and I saw him at the lowest point of his life too. I learnt that money is nobody's friend and it keeps changing hands (or as my mom would say: "Lakshmi chanchal hoti hai !!")

b) When everything was gone from my dad, I saw many things around the house changing. The equation of life changed, lots of relations changed and so did the list of loyals, friends and acquantainces. I learnt that money is really powerful and it has the power to change people and their perceptions about you.

c) All throughout his life, my dad has always said that having money or not does not matter and it is not important. But there have been occassions where I did realize that no matter what, money is important and though it is not everything, but it is an important thing.

d) That phase of my life taught me and my brothers and sisters a very big life lesson of saving and thinking before spending. None of us have those lavish shopping spree style habits and we do consider saving and smart spending a part of our life style now.

e) At some point of time, I moved to US with my husband where we both went to school. When we landed in US and went to school, the only money we had was some savings we both had in India and just our skills. We decided not to take out any loans or borrow from anyone. We both ended up working some hours a week on campus and some odd jobs outside the campus, and then took extra jobs for working on weekends too. We had a white envelop where we both used to deposit all our earnings and every time, we took out some money from that envelop for any of the expenses, we used to write on it to keep a running balance of each dollar we had. Each dollar was so precious that most of the time, even if one of us had the desire to get a coffee or a snack from the university cafeteria, we used to let it pass, thinking about all the hours we had put into that hard earned money.Even after being out of the school for so many years, I still have that envelope and it reminds me of the struggle and hard work we both put into to get where we are today.

f) And the same money (or the lack of it) taught me the most important lesson of my life too. When my dad was out of work and life just seemed like endless array of problems, there were days when all 6 of us (my mom, dad, me and 3 of my brothers and sisters) would just lay out on on a summer powerless night in the back porch of the house, munching on 5Rs worth of peanuts my brother would have picked up on his way back from school and laughing and pulling each other legs. Those moments were priceless.

Those moments taught me that money may come and go from our life, but the bond that I have with my family can never, ever fade.

Do you have money lessons that you would like to share?

Step(up)Mother

2011-06-03T05:58:00.000-07:00

Kids... they have the weirdest imaginations and explanations for everything and anything they hear around

My son's best friend lives with her dad and step mom. I knew about it after meeting them at a B'day party but I wasn't aware whether Aayush knew it or not. And I never specially mentioned it to him too.

so yesterday evening, after he was back from school, he tells me: "Do you know Heather is Gabby's step mom?"
I said "Really? I didn't know know that. But, do you know what is step mom?"

And his response was: "Yes, one who steps up to be your mom !!"

Now isn't that some unusual definition :-)

A letter for you

2011-05-16T10:06:00.000-07:00

Dearest Tinkerbell

Don't be surprised, that's a new name (or rather the first name) I have given to you, because of all the bells and butterflies you create in my tummy these days, tickling me all over!!

Yes, the news of your coming was a big delightful surprise to me, so much so that I didn't believe it myself for the whole 5 days even after every test and every doctor said a positive yes. And it was logical since I had almost given up hope on myself and my body after 3 long years.

The last time, you gave me hope, I so desperately prayed for a miracle but I guess, it was destined to be at this point of time only.

So, let me start telling you something about each one of the members of the new family you are going to be a part of.

Hmmm.. whom do we start with.Let's start with the kid.
One thing I can assure you of, he is going to a greatest Big Brother.
Very caring, loving and sharing
Oh, and on the sharing thing, ask him for everything except his lovey dovey blanket which has been his favorite since he was a baby himself
That is one thing he has refused to share
He told me very clearly on that and made me promise I won't ask him to share that.

On other things, we have come to terms and agreement
Like: The baby can lie on one side of mommy's lap and he can take the other side
If daddy picks you up, he needs to pick him up too (Daddy: Run, save your back now.....)
The baby can take his toys, but only the ones he doesn't play with anymore
Same with the clothes, the one he doesn't feel he looks smart in or those that don't fit him any more
I can put up your pictures on the wall, but only under the ones where his are already hung !!

so you kind of get the idea, right !! Well, just a heads up.

And that's not just to it.
His reaction has kind of evolved during the past few days
From being in denial("what baby? We don't need any baby in our house") to being extremely possessive ("If you love baby more than me, then I'll not be your best friend") to being overly caring now (Recently, when we were planning a vacation, I said "All 3 of us will on a vacation and he corrected me saying "Mommy, not 3, all 4 of us will go on a vacation")

Oh, and I almost forgot, the reason he is most excited about your coming is that somehow he is convinced, as soon as you arrive, he can coach you and include you in all the games and fun stuff he does. But, a big warning from me here (don't tell him I told you all this else he won't be on my team)

He is really fond of pretend plays. So teacher kid game, hair cut game, McDonald drive through games are some of his favorites. And in all these games,he gets to be the bossy and stronger character. So he is the teacher and we are the poor kids listening to him, he is the hair cut man and we have to get our hair cut as he wants it, he is the McDonald's drive thru sales boy and we have to order a large fries and a tall lattee !!

So till now it was one of me or your daddy and then it will be you who will be the one taking all bossing around in all games from him.

And now he can't wait to see you. Everytime I go for a doctor visit, his question is "Are you going to bring the baby home today?" and is pretty disappointed when I nod my head in a no.

Okay,coming to your daddy now.
He has been teasing me all along that he is not going to love my second kid as much as he loves his first one.
And that he won't be spending his money on toys and clothes for you, as much as he did for his favorite kid
And that, he won't be taking as many pictures of the new kid as he did before

But you know what, knowing your dad and how much he just loves kids
I can tell you that those are just his ways of convincing himself
He'll melt at one smile, one look from you
And once he is hooked, he'll the one who'll rock you every time you are crying
He'd be the one willing to be haathi, ghoda, oont, you name it, for you all over the house
and he'd be the one looking for all sorts of stylish clothes and shoes all over the mall for you

And as for me, I want you to be just you, the way I can feel you are right now
Yes, I feel you, while awake and in my dreams
I talk to you, tell you stories about your brother and your dad
Request you not to move a lot when I am in pain
so we already know each other for some time now
And that's why I am sure you know what I want

I want you to be somewhat like me, a companion to me
Because I wanted you for myself
I have faught against all odds for you
I have so many stories, dreams, laughter and giggles to share with you
I want you to be my best friend and my pal
But please don't take all aspects of your personality from me
I am not so proud about my temper or my being impatient on things
so you can skip those aspects (if you can :-)

There is still some time before you see the light of this wonderful world
till then, enjoy the li'l abode there
Enjoy the stories and songs that I humm to you
Enjoy the hugs your brother gives you every morning
Enjoy the warmth of your dad's hands when he tries to feel you move and you trick him
Till then

Love
Ma

A trip to Gatlinburg

2011-05-02T19:56:00.000-07:00

Easter weekend was a long weekend for the kid and husband. And the kid had been complaining for a long time "how come you never take a chutti (vacation)?"
So we decided to make it a family long weekend and drive to Gatlinburg. This place is special for all 3 of us because the first time we went there was on the first B'day of my son.
It is about a 5 hour drive from our place and we headed out Friday early morning.
Once we reached there, the first stop was at Ripley's acquarium.
And it is a must watch if you take a trip to Gatlinburg:

But while dad and son were busy exploring the creatures of the acquarium, I was out on my own, exploring the markets of the area. And it was all well worth it.

The Village Shops at Gatlinburg is a collection of 27 unique boutiques, clothiers, eateries and galleries.

A shop with a lot of traditional handicraft items:

Mirrorwork:

Painted posters:

and a lot of other knick-knacks:

The next stop was at the local candy store within the village:

This is where the popular home made fudge candy is cut into pieces and individually wrapped:

And here you can see the sugar candy being rolled continuously before it is cut into pieces and wrapped.

Another shop selling all sorts of handcrafted mugs and vases:

An interesting sign I captured in one of the gift shops (I have been thinking of putting something like this in my kitchen now :-)

And saw these beautiful tea sets in one of the gift shops:

And then the candle shop, can you imagine these are candles:

Even these too:

And even these too :-)
However given they are so cute, I wonder, if anyone will ever actually use them to light them:

There were so many other shops and galleries I wandered into in that 4 and half hour walk that I took. I was so fascinated and enjoying myself that I missed on some of the pictures.

However, this one I definitely did not miss. As I came out of the Village, there was this fountain which had a burning flame on the top of it:

Overall, a very scenic place. Had a great relaxing weekend. Rest of the weekend activities were more into trolley rides, water park fun and just enjoying the break.

CSAAM April 2011: Lesson for a parent

2011-04-28T11:38:00.000-07:00

April is CSAA (Child Sexual Abuse Awarewness) month, an initiative by several bloggers to raise awareness about CSA. As I started reading other blogs about this topic, I initially thought I wouldn't have any stories or advices to share. But then those deep buried incidents started raising their head, the ones I brushed off thinking those were a part of being and growing up a girl. The ones where someone just groped through the back while trying to get into a DTC bus as a school kid or the ones where one leech would intentionally squeeze into you in a crowded bus. And numerous of incidents like those scared me and my sisters so much that we would wait for hours in a shadeless bus stop in summer afternoons for a less-crowded bus but would not dare to get into a crowded one.

Or the time, when that most trusted electrician would come to home and had that look in his eyes that made me just stay away as far as possible from him.

Or that tailor who once came to deliver some clothes and as soon as he realized that mom was not at home, tried to make the best possible use of that 30 sec that he had in the house.

Incidents like these are stuck away like some bad nightmare in a corner of memory. And as I grew up and had a family, I convinced myself that I can never be so vulnerable again.

And then, after having a kid, life came to a full circle. Whatever scared you, haunted you the most, you unknowingly try to protect your kid from that thing the most.

So, ever since Aayush started going to the baby sitter and then to the daycare, I made it a point to arrive unannounced at his baby sitter and daycare; asked endless questions to his teachers and day care providers. When he was old enough to start talking, asked him daily about what he did, whom he played with and what he played (I am always wary of those doctor-patient games)

Initially my husband brushed me off saying I was being too overprotective and that I need not worry because I had a boy. But now we all know how that myth is so not true. (For more information, see Monika's post here)

As Aayush started growing up, I made it a point to talk to him subtly about his body and how not to let anyone touch himself. Sure, I got responses like "Mommy, why would anyone touch me? They have their own butt and pee pee to touch"

But repetition has its effect. And now that he is four, he may not fully understand the reason, but he knows that at every bath time, I'll remind him not to let anyone except mommy and daddy touch him or make him feel uncomfortable in any way.

But then a few days back, some thing happened which shocked me and made me think at the same time.

He was playing with one of the kids in the neighborhood and I was just chatting with his friend's mom outside their house. This kid has an elder sibling too, who is about 2-3 years older than Aayush. After a few minutes, the 3 of them disappeared into the house.

They do that sometimes when one of them wants to get some water or a bat to play. However, after a few minutes, the kid who is Aayush's age came out but Aayush and the other kid did not. I asked his friend where they were and he said may be in the basement. I tried calling him from outside and he responded back "I am coming Mommy"

So I was convinced he is close by. He came running after a few minutes and handed me something in my hands. And it was his underwear and under shirt (baniyan)

I was shocked and dumb standing there. So I asked him "Why did you take your clothes off?" and he just ran to play with his friends saying "I don't know"

I came back home and talked to my husband about it and we decided we need to talk to him calmly about it and see what he has to say. So, after he came back and he was all settled, we made him sit down and asked him casually (I did not want him to get conscious): Aayush, why did you take off your clothes at your friend's house?"

And he said: Well, when we went inside, his brother said it is really hot and took his clothes off. and then he said I should too"

I asked him "Did he ask you to take off your underwear too?" To which he replied yes.

and did he touch you too?" Me asked

"No Mom !! You are silly !!" he said and then shrugged off as if he didn't want to talk about it anymore

And it got me all the more thinking about it.I know he is at a stage where kids are curious
He wants to know about and explore everything
And the more I make anything "taboo" for him, the more he'll try to get into it

so, this incident made me realize a lot of things: That it was time to start having some more serious conversations with him; Make him see the difference between the right and not so right and the potential harm in "not-so-right"

There is such a fine line between curiosity and exploitation that most often, kids do not even realize when they landed up on the other side of the line.
I have read so many stories and parents' views on this issue this month that it has been an eye opener for me. But as a parent, it helps to learn from others experience and advice and adapt it into your parenting style.

For me, the biggest takeaways from this month have been the realization that yes, this is a issue and I cannot afford to ignore it.

And it has to be a part of my parenting lessons for my kid.
And here's my two cents of advice on this issue:

a) Listen to your kid, actively listen. Don't just brush them off they are making it up or it is kids' talk. And try to listen between the lines - his emotions, his body language, his fears.

b) Talk, communicate to your kid about their daily activities. No, I am not asking to nag but just make it a part of your daily routine.

c) Assure them that they can talk to you about anything and everything without any fear. This will the biggest support you can give your kid.

Bachon ke mukh se

2011-04-01T09:39:00.000-07:00

The Scene: Me and Aayush are driving to school this morning and he sees a bike parked in one of the houses.

Aayush: Mom, how come dad doesn't know how to drive a motor cycle?
Me: He know how to drive, but he doesn't have one here, so he doesn't drive it
Aayush: Well, he can buy one. There are lots of them in the store.
Me: Yes, he can. but for that, he'll need lots of money, you see.
Aayush: Then he can buy money too (so obvious na !!)
Me: Aayush, we cannot buy money. Who told you that?
Aayush: Well, there is a machine in the bank where you put your card and it can give you lots and lots of money.
Me: No, that machine doesn't always work. It works only when you have money.
Aayush: (All of a sudden really serious): Well, then I can ask God for money. Do you want me to ask him next time? I can really ask him if you want me to !!
Me: (Really trying not to laugh because these days he really takes it to heart if I laugh at things he says): Really? Yes, please do ask him and while you are doing that, please ask some for mommy too !!
Aayush: Okay, sure !! I 'll ask. (And he is relaxed now because his dad can drive a bike and he has one big assignment to do: ask God for money)

My cute kiddooo !! May your God always listen to whatever you ask for. Love you.

Yeh lamha filhaal jee lene do

2011-03-05T19:23:00.000-08:00

Something good is happening in my life these days... something so good that I had been waiting for it for a long long time and I had almost given up hope on it.

But finally it happened !! And I am excited, anxious, scared all at the same time.

Because whenever the good times are here, it always feels as if time should just freeze here.

But then, there is something else that is happening. All the wrong people are coming forward to take the credit for it, claiming they always wished the very best for me. But, in my heart know how those are the people who did everything they could to bring me down when I was in turmoil. They never bothered to lend me a hand to help or a shoulder to calm me when I was going through the worst phase.

Those were the people who were busy at that time making sure their selfish reasons and occasions were the only things taken care for.

Sorry, folks, not this time in my life. I just cannot do it. I have done it all my life, ignoring all the wrongs you did. But I am just done.

Just me and me only know who were my own, who helped me bring this day for myself. And they have been too modest to even mention it.

And I owe it to myself to let them know.

And for now, I just want to live these moments, because they are too precious for me to lose them.

I don't think anyone other than Gulzar could have put it more beautifully as these lyrics, what I am feeling:

Ae zindagi yeh lamha jee lene de

pehle se likha kuch bhi nahin
Roz naya kuch likhti hai tu
Jo bhi likha hai, dil se jiya hai
Yeh lamha filhaal jee lene de


Maasoom si hasi, bevaja hi kabhi
Honton pe khil jaati hai
Anjaan si khushi baheti hui kabhi
Saahil pe mil jaati hai
Yeh anjaana sa darr ajnabi hai magar
Khoobsurat hai jee lene de
Yeh lamha filhaal jee lene de


Dil hi mein rehta hai, aankhon mein baheta hai
Kaccha sa ek khwaab hai
Lagta sawaal hai, shaayad jawaab hai
Dil phir bhi betaab hai
Yeh sukun hai to hai, yeh junoon hai to hai
Khoobsurat hai jee lene de
Yeh lamha filhaal jee lene de ...
Oh, pehle se likha kuch bhi nahin
Roz naya kuch, oh likhti hai tu
Jo bhi likha hai, dil se jiya hai
Yeh lamha filhaal jee lene de ...

And Listen to the beautiful song here:

How'd you react?

2011-02-21T18:50:00.000-08:00

There are situations when you just can't decide at that moment what/how to react but, later on reflecting on it, you just don't like the fact that you did not react at all. But in this particular case, I am still unsure how I should have reacted.

Last weekend, my son was playing with his usual group of friends, just some of the kids from the neighborhood. One of the kids, A, in this group is the 5 year grandson of our next door neighbors. They are an elderly couple and the kid A is their only grandson. His dad died very young, so they are extremely fond and protective of A. I hate to say it, but this pampering does show as some spoiled kid behavior on A.

On that particular day, the kids first rode their bikes and then one of the kids brought out his brand new scooter to play with. All the kids were taking turns on that. When it came Aayush's turn, kid A just refused to let him have his turn. Aayush asked him politely twice and then looked at me.

I went and asked A what the matter was and why would he not let Aayush have his turn. And this is what he told me: "Only those who have white skin can have the turn on the scooter. Not Aayush"

And then he took the scooter and went away from there.

I was amazed and dumb at his response. Just couldn't decide how to react.

Should I go inside and talk to his grand parents?

Should I call the kid back here and have a straight talk to him?

I live in an all-white community

I work in an almost all-white work environment

My son goes to a school where about 95% os the kids are white.

So I am aware of the cultural differences.

But some one pointing out the difference based on skin color: this had happened first time on my face.

Luckily, Aayush did not understand the entire issue. He just thought that A said that whoever does not have any white clothes on, doesn't get a chance on the scooter. And he's still upset about that.

I have been thinking and thinking about this incident over and over in head.

And I know it is the time to start this conversation with my kid now

Teaching him that there will be moment and people and remarks like these

But he should never be tongue tied to voice his dislike about it.

And before I do that, I want to take him to A's grand parents place with me and have a direct talk about what happened and what shouldn't have.

What's your take? What would you do?How would you react?

Do you suggest me doing anything differently?

Would love to know.

Edited to add: I did go and talk to A's grandmother and explained the entire incident to her. Even she was quite surprised to hear this and promised to talk to A about it.

Count your blessings

2011-02-18T10:01:00.000-08:00

A few days back, I was reading a magazine and I came across an article in which one of the moms talked about how she worked with her kids to make them realize the beauty of life and how to appreciate it every day by making the most of it and finding a reason to be happy each and every day.

Inspired by that article, that night I had a conversation with Aayush where I told him that, for the next few days, every night before sleeping, we'll write one word/line or draw a picture about one thing that made him happy for the day.
It has been a week that we have been having this practice every night and believe me, it completely changes your attitude towards life and your overall being in general. Now it is one of the conversations he looks forward every day and one day, when I forgot about it, he reminded me and gave me his reason for being happy that day.
Here's how our journal looks so far:

I AM HAPPY TODAY BECAUSE:

Thursday: Mommy came to pick me up (Generally I drop him off and his dad picks him up, but since dad was travelling, so I picked him from his school that day)

Friday: Dad is coming back (from the work travel)

Sat: I got to go to Donovan's B'day (His best friend's B'day party)

Sun: I got a glitter tattoo of Superman (Local library had a valentine's day party for kids where they offered crafts, balloons and glitter tattoos for kids)

Mon: Mommy came to my school to have lunch with me (I went to his school during the lunch time when they had their valentine's day party at the school)

Tues: Mommy got home early (actually he got late with his dad that day and he saw my car already parked and thought I came early)

Wed: I got to ride my bike after so many days (The weather was warm after many many days of cold)

Thurs: Mommy brought cheetos for me for snacks when she picked me up.

And when I started looking at this journal, I realised that these are so small things yet they were big enough to be the reason for him to be happy. I guess, for grown ups too, it is all about perception.
All about what we can find happiness in
It's all around us and inside us
We just need to identify these small things and hold on to those

And then I came across these lines from here

Count your blessings instead of your crosses;
Count your gains instead of your losses.

Count your joys instead of your woes;
Count your friends instead of your foes.

Count your smiles instead of your tears;
Count your courage instead of your fears.

Count your full years instead of your lean;
Count your kind deeds instead of your mean.

Count your health instead of your wealth;
Love your neighbor as much as yourself.

For you, dad.

2011-02-15T18:14:00.000-08:00

NOTE: I started writing this post about 8 days ago, the day I got to know about my dad's illness and have been scared to post it. Just wasn't in the state of mind to post this or anything else.

This one is for you dad

For the past 6 days now, you have been in pain, so much pain that it has been the most difficult time for you. And it has changed you: Changed your health, your stamina, even your voice
The one person whom I never got any less than a "first class" whenever I asked "Kaise ho papa", imagine how my heart cried when I heard "Bete, bohot jyada pain hai" from the same person.
And me sitting, hundreds of miles away, couldn't do anything more than crying and praying for you.
And I cried because I could just hear your immense pain and helplessness in your voice
but I could not afford to be weak when talking to you
And I know, your health and recovery still has a long way to go
But promise me now, to be good to yourself and your health and body
and follow the diet and medicine regime strictly as directed by you doctor

and here's a song for you, which reminds me of you every time I hear it

Added today: It felt so good to hear your voice yesterday after such a long time.
Papa: Your strength is strength for all of us.

Just like that

2011-02-01T10:01:00.000-08:00

Remember the reading challenge that I took up, here? One month already into the new year and I am done with just one book. But given the times that I have to do my reading, I am sure I'll catch up.

You can find my views on the book I read here. This is a new page I created to put all my book reviews in one place.

Other than that, a lot else has been happening in life.

Lots of work, school hunting for the kid; discipline lessons for him (he is getting ready to turn 5, which I guess is a completely new phase for them)

And dealing with alot of snow and cold. so much that I am already tired of it now.
Still, I can't believe we are already into February now.
It is the B'day as well as anniversary month for me

Kid is more excited about the B'day than me these days because he just looks forward to the cake.

On anniversary issue, it is a whole diferent story. This time when I went to India,I showed him a lot of my childhood pictures. So he was pretty amazed that her mom was not always the same. She was also a kid at one point and used to wear "baby" clothes !!

And then I showed him my wedding pictures. That's the part that made him really really upset.

How come mommy daddy decided to "do shaadi" without inviting Aayush?

When I told him that actually you were busy playing football with God up there, then his next question was "Well, then you could have waited for me. Am I not your Paalo betu (dear son)?"

Most of the times these days, I don't have an answer for his questions :-)

So, what's been happening at your end?

Broken promise

2011-01-20T09:48:00.000-08:00

You come unannounced
in my dreams, in my thoughts
in my smile, in my tears

This wasn't the promise you made
when I saw you last

You said you would go away so far
Never to come back, even in my thoughts
Yet you are here, next to me
the moment I think of you

With that never fading smile
Not ever speaking a word
making it all seem like a dream
And then fading away just like you had came

This wasn't the promise you made
when I saw you last

It happens only in India

2011-01-10T09:30:00.000-08:00

Yes, the India trip did finally come to an end. And we arrived here in single piece. Yes, the way the customs and immigration people checked us and questioned us and checked us again, we had started doubting ourselves.
Anyways, this time it was a comparitively short one but quite eventful trip. My brother in law had also joined us from Canada this time. And some of the highlights of the trip:
a) Mother in law, as expected did whip out 2 "jinns" from her jaadui chirag. One was called "Rahul the full time cook" and other was called "Vinod the full time driver"
So, Mr Rahul was really an expert cook but he was pretty dispappointed when we subsidized on the amount of oil he was using in the food, just for the sake of keeping our stomach "happy" and not upset. And the very next day, we gave him another shock by asking him to cut down on the spices, so that the kids out eat the food without shouting "Mirchi" after every bite.
and his comment was "Are? Bina mirchi tel ke bhi koi khana banta hai kya?"
But he still managed to create new surprises for us everyday. From Chole Bhature, spring rolls, Aloo Bedami, Fried rice and Veg Machurian, amazing paneer tikka and the list goes on and on.

b) And now Mr Vinod, he was an expert on Delhi roads. Ask him to go anywhere and he would find the route to that place and take us there. It was a big big relief and change for me from driving myself everywhere, worrying about the kid in the backseat to relaxing myself in the backseat, enjoying FM radio. Call me insane or what, but the longer it took to get to a place, the happier I was.

c) We had a marriage function to attend.With just 3 days left for the function, immediately bought a new saree, gave the blouse for stiching on an urgent basis to one of the females. She promised to get it done the evening before the occassion. Then she called that evening saying one of her workers ran away, so she is going to get it for us first thing in the morning. Finally, we were to leave for the venue at 1 and she came to our house to deliver the blouses at 12. OMG !!

But, if asked to pick some of the best moments of my trip, they were:
a) The evening I reached my mom's place, all my sisters had also arrived there with my nephew and niece. And then finally when my brother also got back from his work, we all just sat there, talked, pulled each others' legs, let the kids fight among themselves. That one evening still lingers on my mind.

b) Talking a walk to the weekly "mangal bazaar" with mom (which by the way is just 5 minutes from my house) picking up knick-knacks, bargaining and laughing away with the vendors and coming back home with bagfull of fruits, vegetables and all sorts of stuff.

c) Watching my son play in the mud and dirt in the park next to my house, since his over cautious dad and grandma and grandpa would not let him do those things back at in laws house. He had a blast rolling all over in the park, jumping over muddy waters and chasing after the street dogs and cows. And I had a blast watching him do these and later showing those pictures and teasing his dad :-)

All in all, an amazing trip. and while I try to settle down in my work and home, I promise to get back to all the stories I have missed pretty soon.

Nagging doesn't work, this works :)

2010-12-07T20:02:00.000-08:00

NOTE: I know, with this post I am going to get a lot of bashing from my male readers. But what you read ahead is the truth, as I have experienced it :-)

So, when god started creating the creature called MAN, basically his design was all okay kinds, but somewhere, when he was giving the finishing touches with all behavioral traits, some ratio got messed up and that creature ended up with one peculiar trait: they did exactly opposite of what they were told to do, and somehow the switch to this behavior gets activated sometime after the marriage.
Like for instance, tell them to put their towel on the stand after shower and it will everyday be found lying on the bed. Ask them humbly to check their pockets for any papers before throwing them in laundry and guaranteed, you'll find shreds of some paper in your machine next time you do the laundry.

So, in my house,one of the things that is the center point of our argument is our cordless phone handset. Yes, the mere phone. Husband dear doesn't like to use the cellphone a lot. But every time he uses the handset, he just ignores to put it back on the charger. And next time he needs the phone, the whole house goes up and down looking for that handset because some time it is found under the couch (because he was sitting on the carpet last time was talking on the phone) or another time it is found behind the bed.
And then, sometimes, while he is talking on the phone, the phone would start beeping because of low battery, so he would have to run to the pick up the fixed handset.
However, despite me nagging him most of the time to put the phone on the handset after talking, he very conveniently assumes that I would do that for him and continues to do the same.

But last week, I had to change this for better. So, as usual, after talking on the phone, he kept the handset on his side table.
Talked the next day again and put the handset on the same spot again.
Third day, same story
Fourth day, started talking to his brother on the phone, the phone started beeping mid way, so put the handset down again on the same pot and talked on the fixed handset
Fifth day, started making the call, but the phone started beeping at the start only. So put the handset again at the same spot, and used the cell phone this time.
Sixth day, he picked up the phone and then realized it was low on battery. so went and put it on the charger.
7th day made the call and then started putting the phone back again on his side table and suddenly noticed me noticing him (and me trying to control my laughter)
and all of a sudden, it all came back to him
And then he yelled "Tu kisi Debra se kam nahin hai (You are no less than any Debra (from Everybody loves Raymond))

The good thing is he didn't hear me saying "And you are no less than the Raymond, Idiot !!"

Yeah, but all this training of mine is going to be wasted as we are headed for a short trip to India tomorrow. Yes, the MIL is all waiting to pamper and shower all her love (through her food) to both her boys(yes, the BIL is also joining us this time there) and the grand kids
So I'll see you all after about 3 weeks. But I m sure I'll have lots of stories to share when I come back. This India trip is expected to be pretty eventful. I just have to wait and see how those events unfold.

And so I challenged myself

2010-12-03T19:35:00.000-08:00

Reading books used to be my hobby once upon a time. I say once upon a time because then came full time job, marriage into a joint family, moving to US and then a kid and that hobby took a backseat. I am exploring that side of me now again and the South Asian Book Challenge couldn't have come at more suitable time. I read about it on Smita and Smitha's blog and decided to jump into it.

I have always been looking for Asian authors in my local library and now the search will be even more exciting.
Do read about the challenge here and if you are up for it, sign up here.
Happy reading...

Guilty, Your honor.

2010-11-23T19:51:00.000-08:00

Dearest Aayush

Mommy is writing this post today to say sorry to you for 2 times that I made you feel bad in the last 2 days. I know I already said this word to you so many times and such a good kid that you are, you did say "It's okay Mommy, next time !!" But my own conscience is hitting me real bad, and that's why I am writing this.
The first time was when you were telling me a story about the trash trucks and you had some question about the way the truck picks up the trash. I know trucks of any type, trash truck, dumper truck, fire truck, police truck fascinate you so much. I was so busy trying to get the dinner done that I ignored your question and got irritated when you repeated the question. You got so upset by me not listening to your question that you just declared that you are never ever going to ask me anything about trucks. Trucks or no trucks, I think I need to do a better job at maintaining my balance even at the end of the day.

The second incident happened when you came back from your school today where you had a Thanksgiving feast today. When I asked you how was the party at the school, your upset reply was: "How come other parents were there and you never came to my party?" I had absolutely no reply for you. You are too young to be burdened by the complications of the responsibilities of a full time job and how sometimes mommy gets torn between the job and home. For you, Mommy and daddy also go to school, just like you.

I know beating myself over these 2 incidents won't do any good. I am just trying to tell myself again and again that you'll be okay in day or two and that I'll try to make it up to you in the coming long weekend.
But on deeper thoughts, I think that if the decision to be a working mom is mine, then I must do it in a better way and not mess up my priorities.

Just want you to know that mommy loves you a lot, much much more that I can even express to you. And I know I do tell you occasionally, you are really a very, very good and understanding kid.

Love you a lot
Mummy, and not Mommy (That's what I like to be called, my angrezi betu)

Just say it

2010-11-19T14:12:00.000-08:00

It is the smallest yet the most difficult word to say to someone. Specially then the other person sets some expectations from you.

"NO"

that's the word I am talking about.
I have always stuggled with saying a flat "NO" to someone when some asks/expects me to do something.And more often than not, I land myself in situations where I have to go beyond my capacity to fulfill that "Yes" that I forced on myself.

I remember, when I was ready to leave after my final year in degree, one of my very close friends wrote this for me in my diary
"Do you need to change? Thoda thoda Yes and thoda thoda No: No because you already so good and Yes - because it a jungle out there. It has been quite a smooth ride till now. Do you think it is going to remain like that in the industry also? No. And that is what you also need to learn to say"

My hesitation to say No has caught up with me several times in my personal life as well as professional life. Whenever I find myself stuck in sticky situation brought upon myself by not saying a NO to other person, I always remembered these lines and tried to remind myself that I do need to change.

The kind of work environment and responsibilities I am in now, demand this skill from me more than ever.
And over the years, I have learned to say this word. Having a 4yr old at home has definitely helped me practise it all the more.
Here are some of the rules I follow (and interestingly, I have seen these rules applied in both my personal life as well as professional life)
a) Say it and mean it, really. Look at the person straight in the eye when you refuse for something. Trying to look other ways just gives an impression to the other person that you are not serious or just making excuses.
b) Offer alternatives and be willing to come to a mid point compromise which would be acceptable to both , so that the other person feels that you do care.
c) And the most important, despite having a difference of priorities and opinions, be humble. It shows, in your tone, your body language and your expressions.

So, how to do do it when you have to say NO to someone? Does it come to you naturally or you also struggle with it, like me?

Celebrations

2010-11-06T13:37:00.000-07:00

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 16; the sixteenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Celebration, as per dictionary is defined as a joyous diversion from the mundane lifestyle of a group of person, who gather to share the happy occasion.

And as I started writing on this topic, my memory took me back down the lanes of memory, specifically about 15 years back.

It was that time, when I had just started college and we were staying in Delhi.

The hosue we stayed in, on one side of the house, another house was getting built. And the owners of this place had appointed a chowkidar on the premises, just to keep an eye on the premises. The chowkidar made a little "jhuggi" for himself there and lived there with his wife and 2 little kids.

On the other side of the our house was a big mansion style house. We never interacted with the residents of that house but had heard stories from sevaral neighbours that the owner was a big shot businessman, had a wife and 2 grown up kids and a mistress who stayed in the same house. His own family lived on the ground floor and the mistress lived on the top floor.

And my own family was going through a difficult phase then. My dad had a big loss in his business and therefore, there were no buisness souveniers or cards that went out with dad's name that year. Deepawali was also not a grand affair for all my brothers and sisters that year.

So, it was the day before deepawali and my mom was standing out on the "verendah". My mom has this habit of silently observing people and what they are doing, without actually interacting with them.

The chowkidar's family was pretty known to us. Often the wife would do small errands for my mom and my mom often used to pass over left over food and clothes we kids outgrew to her. On that particular day, my mom had given some of the sweets she had made for Deepawali to her too.

So, as the day started getting dark, the kids helped their mom put some candles around their jhuggi and decoaret it whatever little trinkets they had managed to gather. they had even made a little kandeel out of some colored papers and little sticks. Then they all went inside the jhuggi and did their pooja. (My mom could hear them singing and chanting)

When they were done with the rituals, chowkidar's wife started getting the choolha ready for evening dinner. Because the jhuggi was a small place, so they cooked outside.

She had made the dough for rotis, so her kids helped her make rotis, the chokidar got some onions and green chillis and the wife roasted some potatoes in the choolha after the rotis were done.

And the excitement of the kids, on having a family meal at the end of the day was clearly visible. So, then they all sat down and ate their dinner. And then the chowkidar's wife divided the sweets equally into 3 parts: 2 for the kids and one for her husband.

The kids then went ahead with whatever stock of fire crackers they had.
And as the chowkidar and his wife sat down to eat their sweets(the chowkidar shared his part with his wife) and watched their kids enjoying the fire crackers, the look of contentment and happiness on their face was priceless. As if, that was the only moment that mattered in their life.
This was the Diwali celebration for them.

And the my mom took a look on the other side of our house, to the big mansion.

It was glittering like a bride, from all the lights that had been put on it three days ago.
The owner was seen few minutes ago, all dressed up and leaving in his big black car.

The older kids in the house were also gone with their friends

The only one remaining in the house(it seemed like) were the 2 females, who were related to each other through one common factor but never spoke to each other.

The neighbours seemed to avoid talking to anyone in this family, so the house looked kind of deserted, despite all the lights and decorations.

When mom came inside, we all got together and started getting ready for the poojan. My sister had made a beautiful rangoli in the pooja room using henna, haldi and gulal.

My other sister had decorated the pooja spot using anything and everything she could find around the house.

Bhai helped papa to get everything needed for the poojan ready, including the diyas, roli chawal, dhoop, mithai, chandi ke sikke, lakshmi ganesh idols, papa's ledger book and some new currency notes.

We all sat together and did the poojan. Papa gave us all some gifts (which he did every year) and then we all sat down for dinner. Mom had planned the menu such that each one of us had a special favorite item there.

Exactly on the same day a year later, I was feeling really down since the situation had hardly changed at our end and didn't feel like doing anything for the preparation of the festival. That's when my mom narrated this whole incident to me and gave me this beautiful lesson which I remember till date:

"Celebration in life is not about having big things and big moments. It's all about being happy for what we have and who are with us at that moment. So learn to celebrate these special times for what you have today rather than looking for things and reasons to celebrate"

The lesson and what my mom observed that day remains in my heart and my mind till today.
So, don't ever let the celebration in your life fade away.
Have a great festival season and celebrations.

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Tag time

2010-10-30T07:03:00.000-07:00

Howz this for a tagline:

Jab ho dimag ke darwaze band aur blog ho aapka rejected, tab Tag aaye aapke kaam !!

Anyways, with all the work piled up and my brain cells refusing to creating anything for the blog, I saw this tag on dmanji's blog and decided to take it up.

If you read it and like it, take it up.
So Here’s a list of things I did or not do.

1) Graduated high school.

2) Kissed someone.

3) ~~Smoked a cigarette~~ (though I have always wanted to try it at least once.)

4) ~~Got so drunk you passed out~~. (Naaah... I know .. I am boring)

5) Rode every ride at an amusement park.

6) Collected something stupid: I used to collect kit kat wrappers as souvenioers from my friends

7) ~~Gone to a rock concert.~~(Naahh.. again refer to point 4)

8) Helped someone.

9) ~~Gone fishing.~~ Never, and I am somehow not interested too

10) Watched four movies in one night. Yes,this I have done and that too with a gang of guys.

11) Lied to someone
12) ~~Snorted cocaine.~~ Noooo

13) ~~Smoked weed.~~ Noooo

14) Failed a subject.(yeah I once flunked my Thermal physics exam in college, because I was watching DDLJ for the 10th time entire night. and then i didn't go and collect my paper from my Professor)

15) Been in a car accident. (On my 3rd day in US, on a busy highway. It left me so scared of driving in US that I was off driving for about 3 years)

16) Been in a tornado. (c'mon I lived in Texas for 3 years; for those who do not know: Texas is called the tornado alley of US)

17) Watched someone die: No and I don't think I could do that.

18) Been to a funeral: Again, no

19) ~~Burned yourself.~~

20) Run a marathon:Will walking a marathon count?

21) Cried yourself to sleep. So many times

22) ~~Spent over 10,000 bucks in one day~~: I don't think so and I don't think I can. I think so many times when I have to spend a large amount.

23) Flown on an aeroplane.

24) ~~Cheated on someone.~~

25) ~~Been cheated on.~~

26) Written a 10 page letter: I think it was 9 and a half pages.

27) ~~Gone skiing.~~ (Again see #4)

28) ~~Been sailing.~~

29) Cut yourself. (Kitchen knives are not my best friend)

30) Had a best friend : Had it and lost the friend somehow.

31) Lost someone you loved.

32) Got into trouble for something you didn’t do. Always, as a kid, I was the leader of trouble making team.

33) ~~Stolen a book from the library.~~

34) Gone to a different country. : I live in different one.

35) Watched the Harry Potter movies. (Not the complete movie in one sitting)

36) Had an online diary. I hope the blog counts. If not, I had a yahoo account to post my online entries before I had a blog.

37) ~~Fired a gun.~~

38) Gambled in a casino.

39) Been in a school play.

40) ~~Been fired from a job.~~ Thankfully, no

41) ~~Taken a lie detector test.~~

42) ~~Swam with dolphins.~~ I really want to seesome who did it

43) ~~Voted for someone on a reality TV show.~~ I am not into it.

44) Written poetry. (Wrote a couple of lines when I saw my son for the first time)
45) Read more than 20 books a year. (I used to before I became a mom)

46) Gone to Europe. (Flight layover counts, right?)
47) Loved someone you shouldn’t have. Yes I did !!

48) Used a colouring book over age 12. Yes I do now, with my son.

49) Had a surgery.

50) Had stitches.

51) Taken a Taxi.

52) Had more than 5 IM conversations going on at once. (Oh yes, those were the days)

53) ~~Been in a fist fight.~~ Naaah..

54) ~~Suffered any form of abuse.~~

55) ~~Had a pet.~~

56) ~~Petted a wild animal~~ Am too scared of animals

57) Had your own credit card & bought something with it.

58) Dyed your hair. I do now !!

59) ~~Got a tattoo.~~ I so want to get one !!

60) Had something pierced.

61) Got straight A’s.

62) ~~Known someone personally with HIV or AIDS.~~

63) Taken pictures with a webcam.

64) Lost something expensive. I am known in my family for losing jwellery.

65) Gone to sleep with music on. Lots of times

Sounds intersting? Pick it up now :-)

Thursday tunes

2010-10-27T18:42:00.000-07:00

Has it ever happened to you that you likes a song so much, even though you do not understand the complete meaning of it?
Well, this song is some what like it. This song has always been one of my favorite ones
One, for the golden voice of Lata,
For the feeling that emanates from this song,
and then, me being not so knowledgeable about the urdu words, I started searching for the meaning of individual lines.
and once I got that, I have fallen in love with song, all over again.

Listen to the song for yourself, and also read the meaning of the lines, if you did not know already:

and I found the most detailed meaning of this song on this blog:
http://the-obvious-subtlety.blogspot.com/2008/09/meaning-of-song-dikhayi-diye-yun-ke.html

I remember seeing this movie a very long time back, and it had some very sad ening. But now I want to watch it again.
So, what do you feel about the song?

Is it just me?

2010-10-18T19:33:00.000-07:00

People, gosh !! Some of them have so unique ways to irk you, when they want to. Like they'll start the conversation with a simple and innocent question "So, how's the job?"
And then, a simple "Fine, going good" just doesn't satisfy their inquisitive nature.
So they go ahead and take the next step and ask "And how's the pay in your company?"
And I try to skirt the issue with a standard reply "Just about the same as any other company in this industry"

No, but they are not yet satisfied. So they take another step and fearlessly (and shamelessly, pardon my words here) fire this question "And how much do you make on your position?"

Now I don't know if it just me who gets irked by this question or others feel this way too, but I just can't tolerate people asking me this question. I feel this questions is total invasion of someone's financial and professional privacy. In my heart, I want to blast out and say "Oh, I just don't make anything on my job. In fact I am doing a charity for my company. And while we are on this, I don't have enough to pay the rent this month. Can I borrow a $1000 from you, if you don't mind"
But on face, I just try to ignore this question. More often than not, topics like weather, TV programs, kids issues come handy.
But the fact is, that I have struggled with this issue a lot and very frequently.
And that too, not just from random people, but people from close relations, people I haven't thought about being and don't want to be disrespectful to.
I could understand if such a question came from someone elderly like my Nani
but the irony is that even when I broke the news of my first job after college (And I was the first girl on my Nani's side going for a job), she never asked me what I was going to earn. I was surprised at her subtle yet concerned comment "Beta Paise to theek thak mil rahe honge na (you must be getting decent money, right?)"

Or may be it was because I came from a background where never once did my parents asked any of their married kids how much was their salary.
And when I get so upset from other person's deliberate invasion of my financial situation, I try to convince myself that I'll also play this way and ask them the same question when I talk them the next time. But, somehow, I can never bring up myself to do the same. I just steam it off onsomething or other
And the cycle keeps on going.
Does it hapen to you too? Is it some thing that make you really, really mad?
Like this one makes me sooooooooooo mad and helpless at the same time !!

Finally

2010-10-11T19:07:00.000-07:00

Finally, I have it.
Yes, the previous company has been informed, resignation handed over and am getting prepared for the new start.A new beginning, for which I had been waiting and working for the last one year.
This new opportunity gave me a new confidence and pride in myself.
This is something I promised to myself and I finally got it.
And while I am getting geared for the new place, I am also trying to wrap up my old projects.
So, work has been keeping me on my toes, but looking forward to what I am going for, it is all worth it
On the bright side, I still have 2 days of vacation to burn off this week itself.
So, the coming weekend will be a really long and relaxing weekend.

This and That

2010-09-30T09:46:00.000-07:00

Life has been crazily busy, with lots of things going on
And with husband's frequent travels, I have been trying to manage it all, trying to make sure everything is in order, and in time, and I am still calm

But with a hectic job and a 4 year old, you know how it goes

Order gets replaced by chaos, being in time becomes an unaffordable luxury and me being calm under all this still remains a target to achieve.

Anyways, between all this, today I decided to take some time and volunteer at Aayush's school.We recently moved him to a Montessori school. And ever since, I have been all praises for his new school. I mean, the environment, the atmosphere, the teachers, their love and ways of guiding the kids, everything is just different and yet it all provides such an enriching and inspiring environment for the kids.
Aayush has been going there for only a month now and I can already see so much change in his ways - the way he interacts with us and other kids, the way he does activities at home.

So, every Thursday, the school teachers ask volunteers from parents to help them get craft and learning stuff ready for kids. It is all trivial stuff, but it helps the teachers a lot.

So I was there for the first time today. And I had about 2 hours to spare before I had to head back to my work for a mandatory training.
Here what all I did:

a) Traced an apple figure on cut paper cards. After tracing an apple for like 100 times, I am sure I can draw an apple with closed eyes now :-)
Later, they would ask the kids to cut along the shape.
b) Cut out 50 premeasured sheets for the kids to paint (and create mess) on the art easel.
c) Since their next week theme is Apples and pumpkins, so I traced a lot of pumpkins on card stock paper and drew spooky faces and eyes on them.

It was a great fun and relaxing time for me. I got to interact with other moms too, one of whom turned out to the mom of Aayush's new best friend. and the conversation went like :Oh you are Quinn's Mom? Aayush talks about him everyday !!"
And then she goes "and you are Aayush's mom? Quinn wants to go with Aayush everyday"

All in all, it was great fun time. I think I am going to come back again pretty soon.

And did you read the much awaited Ayodhya verdict? I didn't read the full details, just the main points of the decision.

Hey, that's exactly the way my mom used to resolve the fight when me and my sisters used to fight over a single five star bar... just cut it into 3 pieces and give one to each one of us and all 3 were happy.
I wish this issue remains this simple

So, how have you all been? What do you all think about the verdict?

Some memories are forever

2010-09-23T09:57:00.000-07:00

I am sure each one of us have a memory of some special place or special soneone tucked away safely under the layers of our mind, which comes back to us every now and then.
I have a memory of one such special place, from my childhood.

I was born and brought up in Ranchi, a place in Bihar. Believe me when I say it, it was a completely different place then.
Ranchi was considered the hill station of the state, with all its scenic beauty and beautiful falls.

The house we used to live was names "Jain Niwas"
And the front porch of the house, we used to call it "chajja"; that is the special place I am talking about.

It was the place where Mummy used to sit and chat with all neighbouring aunties, while all the kids played downstains in the front "aangan"
That way, they all could keep an eye on their kids

That was the place where Sunday mornings, we all three sisters would take our turn to get our hairs oiled by mummy.

That was the place we used to watch the rains from, the aeroplanes in the sky from.

That was the place from where I would yell the "puchke wala", "chana chor garam wala" and the "son papdi wala" bhaiya to wait while I go and ask mummy if I could have those

That was the place from where mummy used to call "Dolly ki mummy" to ask tap water was coming in their house or not !!

And that was the place where we all would sit on long nights with powercuts and just look at moon and stars and mummy would tell us stories of pari and raja and rakhsas(demons) and a wicked old woman.

And there was a iron grill railing in front of that porch.
And me and all my sisters would climb on that railing to wave bye to papa and chacha when they left for work

And my youngest sister, the kind of experimenter she is, once tried to get her head between those railings.
And she did manage to get her head stuck there, the only problem was, she was not able to take it out.
So while I went to call mumma, my other sister scared the hell out of her saying that now her head has to be cut to get it out of that railing.
And then there was an open terrace just in front of that "chajja"
Papa used to put "bajra" and some water in a dish for the birds every morning there
None of us were allowed to get on that terrace because it was open from all sides
But occassionally, when something would fall on that terrace(after rain/wind), me being the eldest, had the privilege of climbing over the railing and getting down on the terrace (with my mom reminding me everyother minute ""chhat ke kone par pair bhi mat rakhna ("Don't even step near theend of the terrace")
And with my sisters giving me that jealous looks and fighting over whose turn would it be next time to get down on the terrace.

We lived in Ranchi only till I was like 10 or 11, but for some reason, I have very clear memories of that house and specially this place.
I am there often in my dreams too.
Do you have any such special memory to share?

Return

2010-09-03T14:00:00.000-07:00

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 14; the fourteenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Ten years ago, she set out on a mission
To bring someone's son, someone's brother back, from a place where he was gone for fulfilling some dreams
Ten years, degree, job, a house and a 4year old son later, her return from this stranger’s land to her country seems like an impossible dream to achieve.

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

The interview that never happened

2010-09-01T20:07:00.000-07:00

Remember, I told you I had an interview last week. So after the interview, when I started thinking about it, something just struck me. These days these interviews are situational interviews where you have to give example of actual situations to explain how you acted and took control/handled the situation.
So, it appeared to me that I could have given them much much better examples and situations if I could use real-life stories from my day to day life.
Here, I am attempting to answer some of those questions, as I would have liked to:

a) How to you get requirements from a person who is very unclear/vague about what he needs.What tools did you use to facilitate? What was the final result?

My response: I have come across this situation on several instances actually. Like every evening, when I try to ask husband/son about what they want to eat for dinner, typical answers I get are "Anything/Something different/that one which you made last month(I don't remember what I ate this morning and they are talking about last month)

Some of the tools I use: Just ignore them (yeah, just cook whatever can be cooked in the shortest time and for which I already have ingredients in my refrigerator). Sometimes, just give them 2 options, either this or that and they just have to pick one.
And then, in some instances, serve them what they asked for, "NOTHING" yeah, just make a really tiring and sad face, indicating I am in no mood to cook, and if you really force me to cook, you'll have to eat something
pathetic. So, for the sake of taste buds and health considerations of all of us,we should better eat outside.
Result: So far has been pretty positive, I mean we do eat everyday, so I guess that proves my point.

b) Explain a situation when you had to change your priorities to get something accomplished. How did it affect the original task?

My response: Now, again this happens almost everyday. So, in the morning rush, when everyone is trying to get ready and I am buy packing lunches and getting breakfast ready, in between of all that, a voice will start like "I can't find my socks, can you look for them?" I try to ignore that voice and continue on my mission (of getting everyone including me out of the house in time). But then another voice adds to that voice "Mommy, where is my bag and my red shirt and even Barney is hiding?"
So, I really have to shift gears, get back to 2 lost clueless souls and help them find their stuff and then rush back to the kitchen just in time before that toast decides to really stick to that "supposed to be" non stick pan, hmmph....
Results: Except for occasional over toasted toasts, my skipped breakfast and a little craziness at the start of the day, everything seems fine and we are out of the house, finally !!

c) Explain a situation when you had to really sell your idea and convince someone on a concept? What tools did you use? What was the final result?

My response: Now, even you would agree that convincing a 4 year old on something is the most difficult task. Specially when he gives arguments like: "I don't want to eat anymore because my tummy is saying don't send any more food" or "I don't want to take shower because I'll get wet"
So, in situations like these, I have to bring out my some special skills like telling him "Okay, let' send a message to the tummy saying that Aayush needs to grow big, so he needs to finish his dinner"
or the creative idea of "Okay, lets skip water and just use the soap bubbles to clean ourselves then."
Results: I am getting creative everyday, with challenges like these.And you know who else is also getting smarter? My son, yeah he comes up with some other argument against my creative idea. We still have to see who gives up :-)

See, this interview, I am damn sure, I would have aced !!
As for the actual one which happened, I am still waiting, with my fingers crossed.

Craft for the teacher

2010-08-30T19:21:00.000-07:00

Aayush goes to a reading class and we decided to give him a break for few weeks since he started his new school today. His teacher at the reading class, Ms Youla, has been really special and helpful for him. She has this special way of engaging little kids that the same kid who resists to even sit for a minute to do any reading/writing at home, will finish 4 assignments in a row with her, without any complaints.

So, when we told Aayush that he was not going to see his teacher for a while, he said that he wanted to make a craft for her. (He has seen crafts from other kids hanging near her table)
So I made this craft with him this evening. He was super excited for making it, so he did all the pasting, cutting, hand printing, writing and coloring on his own.
And after finishing it all, took a picture of it all by himself.

So, here's the craft he made:

Some thoughts

2010-08-27T14:38:00.000-07:00

(This entry is kind of new experiment that I did today. I had an important interview today and part of the entry I wrote about before the interview to reflect on how I was feeling then and part of it was written after the interview to reflect on afterthoughts)

Confused and scared and anxious
that's how I am feeling right now
Can't even remember when I felt like this last
May be just before the final 12th class maths exam
Or that last big one that I had, in which I was so close
Or the time when the doctor was supposed to call me back with the results
And I was confused because I thought I was overconfident
Scared not to disappoint myself
Anxious just to be done with it, for once

so, I'll comeback after an hour and try to relive this moment and see how my feelings change

4 mins more to go
3 min more to go
.....
....
Off I am for now

(To be continued after an hour)

And here I am back again
I am no more confused or scred
Just anxious...
Anxious now to know how I did, did I get it?
I could have answered that one a little differently
What did they think about me?
I hope I asked all the right questions
and did not say anything stupid
And I also feel so stupid for feeling so confused and jittery at that moment an hour before.
There was nothing that I wasn't prepared for.

Isn't it fascinating how our mind plays games with us?
At one moment we are asking for something and as soon as that moment is gone, that "one" thing becomes less important something else becomes the desperate want of that moment.

And it never ends...
The cycle never stops...

Some days are just good

2010-08-21T20:20:00.000-07:00

Some days are just plain good, isn't it? When small things just add up to make it big for you? Yeah, it was just like that kind of day yesterday. And I am writing this all here so I can come back and read it on one of those days when it gets really really tough. Just to remind myself, it is not always so bad...

a) I am a morning person and like to get to work early and leave early. But since I am the one to drop my son to his daycare, my day at work typically starts a bit late. Yesterday, fortunately, Aayush's teachers at school, I guess, decided to take a break from kids(The school had Teacher's in-service day), so he was off from school and his dad decided to be a stay-at-home-dad for the day. So I was off to work quite early. And secured the very front parking spot and grabbed a hot breakfast from the cafeteria there.
Hmmm. total bliss.........

b) Then, at lunch time, dad and son gave a surprise visit at my work. And as per Aayush, just like I drop him at school, Mommy also goes to school. So he wanted to check everything at my "school"; what center I was working on (they have different centres in their class: writing center, computer center, building blocks center, draw and color center), who is Mommy's teacher and who is Mommy's best friend. So he took a tour of my entire workplace, greeted everyone with one big smile when everyone asked if he was a new trainee on job.
And then seriously instructed me to be good and take a nap after lunch !! Yes, that would be good :-)

c) Then, got home early and found dad and son playing the front yard with sprinkler and water. What else could anyone want on a hot summer Friday evening !! So we all played and soaked for a while in the water. And then we were soon joined by Aayush friends from the neighborhood. They all had a blast and thankfully, my lawn also got watered in the process.

d) And then, at the end of the day, after dinner, we headed out for some icecream. While on our way, Aayush kept wondering why is the moon also coming along with us? Wondered if Moon also wanted a icecream cone and finally announced Moon will have to get his own cone because he is in no mood to share his icecream.
So, we topped off out day with a hot fudge icecream sundae.

All in all, little things made up the day for me. And you know, what final conclusion my dear husband reached at after all this:"See all your days can be like this if you decide to be a stay at office mom and me a stay at home dad"

Hmmmm.... Nice thought Mr hubby. Give me some more days like this and I may consider the offer after we discuss the complete terms and conditions :-)

Life is all about choices

2010-08-10T19:41:00.000-07:00

Life is all about the choices we make and the ones we do not make (or just choose not to make)
So, why after such a long break, am I talking about this stuff?
Because in the past few days, I have been faced with a lot of choices, related to life, career, parenting, relationships.. to name a few

And at every point, I was confused like a four year old kid standing in front of a candy store trying to decide which candy to choose from all the colorful ones.
Only that in my case, the choices were not as colorful as the candies and most of them were not as simple as just choosing a candy.

My sister once told me that whatever you choose in life, always be responsible for them, because then later you just cannot deny them saying someone else forced those on you. Because if you were forced, then that was also your own choice. And I always remember this little advice of hers, specially more recently.

So, in my career, I am at a point, where I am looking for options but I have my certain parameters attached with them. So recently, when I did really receive a pretty lucrative offer, lucrative enough to actually make me think and consider all options and make a decision really quick. However, I did decline that offer because it was offering me everything except peace of my mind.

On my personal front, I was really falling apart because of certain circumstances, something about which I wrote here too. However, lately, I have trained myself to take the things the way they come and just feel contented with the present. If it is destined for you, it will come to you sooner or later, that's what I have started to believe for now.

Parenting... aahh.. that's a difficult one !!
Difficult, I say for 2 reasons:
a) It's about parenting a 4 yr old
b) And 4 yr old toddlers do not come with any instruction manual. They only come with a lot of tantrums, frequent whining and stubbornness about anything and everything under the roof and then, another second they are full of giggles, laughter, lots of hugs and a very smart imitation of their teacher !!

So, the choices I make as a parent change every day. Should I allow him to have those fries today? Will it be okay for him to play with kid today, who pushed him so hard yesterday? He wants to skip his writing today and play a computer game today, will that be okay?

For a long time, I have, in my heart, regretted a lot of my decisions and choices. But, now, I am starting to let that guilt and regret go away and come to terms with everything, may be I am at that certain point in my life.
But you know what, at the end of the day, there are still some decisions and choices in my life which I am really feel good about. And that's what keeps me going.

Time capsule

2010-07-27T21:33:00.000-07:00

Dearest Aayush,

This is the first letter mommy is writing for you. But then, bitto, you just have started learning to read, so I just wanted to wait till then :-)
So today is your B'day and you are going to be 4. A big boy, as you have been saying !!
Gosh, it seems just like yesterday, when you came into my life.
You came into my life when I was defeated on all fronts and I had almost just given up. And can't express how your arrival brought a new light in our life.
Gave a new meaning to the concept of "us" in life.

But, see all these years of our togetherness haven't been without the share of ups and downs. But, that one li'l smile of yours or sweet cooing of yours kept us going. I still remember I beat myself up so badly for such a long time everytime you were not well, with the guilt of being responsible to bring you in this world a little early.

Over the last 4 years, we have achieved so many milestones together. But today I want to talk about the lessons of life which you taught me. Yes, that's true, you my "now I am a big boy" have given me some big lessons in small innocent talks of yours
Like the time, you asked me "Mommy, Why do we have friends?" And I tried my hands at explaining by saying "We have friends so that we can talk to them, play with them and share with them. "
And your instant reply came: "But mommy, monkey and teddy and little doggy don't talk with me, but they are still my friends. They make me happy so they are my friends"
Yes, and there was a big lesson in that sweet little talk of yours.
Though I wonder, when and how does all this "samajhdaari" gets replaced with tantrums and zid when I really want you to do things.
Similarly, I remember the time when your dad got sick and we had to rush him to ER. It was just me and you to take care of him when he was suffering with unbearable pain. You just sat next to him holding his hands. And when the doctor came and took him to the room, you said "As long as I am with daddy, he is going to feel better, right?"
Great going, kiddo !! Don't ever let this innocence and love for your dad fade away. One thing I am going to confess to you (shhh... don't even think about telling this to your daddy): You dad is a much better dad to you than I have been a mom to you.

Me and dad used to play this little tricky game with you where we asked "Aayush mummy ka bitto hai ki Papa ka?" and your innocent response would be "Mummy ka bhi aur papa ka bhi". So once I said, "Aise nahin, you have to choose one, either me or daddy" And boy, did I anticipate your response "Lekin mummy ke saath school jana acha lagta hai aur Papa ke saath school se wapas aana acha lagta hai"
Keep it up dude !! Know your priorities and interests and keep the right parties happy :-)

And you know what, now you are at a stage where days are spent chasing, nagging, running, playing and "trying" to discipline you. So, pretty soon, all these small incidents will get lost under the dust of those so called big things.
But your mom, as crazy as she is, she likes to treasure small things.
Like the first bottle you drank the milk from, your first set of clothes/toys, your hospital bed sign, dates of your first smiling, crawling, sitting, standing, walking and many more.
so I am putting all these memories as a time capsule in this blog.
When you are old enough to use a computer "constructively", do drop by and read these. I am sure you'll also have a smile on your face.

Happy B'day Son. Love to you today and always.
Lots of happiness to you today and for the years to come.

Love
Ma

Questions

2010-07-23T08:17:00.000-07:00

What do you do when you want something so bad yet you just can't achieve it?
Time and again, you give it your best try, and still the other factors playing other than your own efforts, pull it down every time, time and again...
How do you convince yourself that you just cannot have it?
Do you give up or keep trying? how long do you keep trying before getting tired and hopeless?
How do you not let it affect other things happening in your life?
Other people who are part of your life?

Me struggling with these questions these days...
Do you have any answers?

Happy B'day, dear !!

2010-07-09T21:57:00.000-07:00

If you want to make me cry at any time of the day, just take one name and I'll be all watery eyed!!

And as I am writing these lines, I am still trying to control my emotions

Yes, he is so special for me

He is a part of me, myself

so much so, that anything that hurts him, hurts me tens or hundreds times more !!

For me, he's still that little brother who, as a kid, wanted to sleep holding my hands at night so that he won't get scared.

I still have a very clear memory of those early days when you were so little.

Me, as a big sister wanted to take care of you all by myself

Whenever it was time for your sleep, I would put both my hands your eyes so that you could feel dark and fall asleep

Nanaji sent a stroller for you from Delhi. A stroller at that time was kind of unheard-unseen things in a place like Ranchi. So, in the evenings, all 3 of us (me including my other sisters) would put you in the stroller and take you for a walk. Now that's a different story that we 3 would start fighting in the middle of the road as to whose turn it was to walk the stroller now, leaving you in that stroller on the road itself. I know bhai, you still thank your stars that you survived despite having such careless sisters.

As you grew up, you were so fond of dressing up. You saw one of our relatives wearing a safari suit (with a cut in the shirt on the back) . And after deciding that you wanted a shirt exactly like that cut, you took the matters in your hand, took out scissors from mom's sewing machine kit and cut 4 of your shirts that way. Yeah, yeah, you were that "smart"

Papa and me were the ones who always took your sides and mom was the one who wanted to discipline you. And you knew that, so you showed all your tantrums while Papa was home and turned into a "jalebi ki tarah seedha" as soon as he left for work.

Me and you were always one team, with R and S (my other 2 sisters) on the opposite team. In their terms, we were the "drama" team and according to us, they were the "joker" team !!

There used to be a serial on Doordarshan those days(I am blanking out on its name, pretty sure it was not Imtehann!!) featuring Renuka Shahane and Ninad Kamat and Ninad plays the brother of Renuka. And because the brother is so attached to the sister, their dad says that after Renuka's marriage, her in-laws will get one additional dowry item - her brother.

And, so after seeing that scene, Mumma used to say the same thing for us too !!

"We already have one piece of item ready for you to take to your in-laws house, when you get married"

And it never happened. I went away first to a different house and then to all together different world !!

And it's your B'day today bhai and I am not sure what I want to give you today, probably these....

1) Don't always rely on your eyes and expressions to communicate what's in your heart. Because not everyone knows this language. Use your words also.

2) At the same time, learn when to use just words and not let your eyes and expressions do the work at all. This is also needed in life.

3) Love yourself. You are your own best friend.

4) Learn from your past experiences. Remember the lesson and forget everything else about bitter experiences.

5) We all need some body to lean on. So, when you are in stress, puzzled, or just confused, do reach out to the people who you know love you and you can trust.

6) Your relationships and your career are your biggest assets. Don't give up or compromise on either one of them for the other.

7) And last but not the least, don't ever take my calls when you are on the bike. Ignore them and I'll know :-)

And here's one song for you:
Love you and miss you a lot.

PS: Can't believe this is my 3rd post of the day. But then each one of them had a kind of deadline for today :-)

Winners of Super Fun for Super F-UN-Scrambler Golden Rolling Trophy

2010-07-09T21:51:00.000-07:00

So, finally it is time to reveal the answers and declare the winners.

So, first the results:

The challenge was to find the missing vowel and then unscramble the following words:

syrlep
gas
semyrar
hmet

Actually, they are all supposed to be belong to one particular family of words. But since I didn't highlight this fact very clearly in the original post, so I am considering other answers too.

So, the answers are:
parsley
sage
rosemary
thyme

And the winners are Swaram, Shilpa and Pratima (Yeah, she is not a blogger, but a regular visitor of my blog and sent me her answer on Yahoo !!)

Congratulations winners !!
And as promised, your award is the shinning trophy, which you get to keep (and try to pass it on too !!)

Now, the challenge for all you winners, as Pallavi puts it, “Proud recipients of the F-Un-Scrambler Golden rolling Trophy are HEREBY TAGGED to put up a similar post with scrambled/jumbled words!! No rules/conditions apply. It just has to be jumbled words or jumbled letters or both, the way you like it!!

Do remember to link back to this original post though, so we maintain continuity. AND please also come back to let me know when you’ve posted your challenge (that way I will get a chance to participate too!)

And yes, do pass on this beautiful rolling trophy to your winners too!”

Good luck and have fun with the contest !!

Wish

2010-07-09T20:59:00.000-07:00

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 12; the twelfth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

I so wish that I could go back in time and live that one evening all over again...

That evening, how can I forget it.
You promised to take me to the movie, ours together for the first time.
I was all dressed up and ready, waiting for you
Eyes fixed so anxiously on the gate, just waiting for you
Trying to hide the gleam of my eyes
flickering of my heart
yet I know I failed on that so badly

It was evident by that mischievous smile of my best friend
who waited by my side, sitting on the porch.
And then the gate opened
and it was you, feet wanted to jump and run,
Just could not dare to do so
Hesitation chained my feet

And then you came and sat just next to me
so close, I could smell your cologne
So close, I could feel your smile
So close, I just couldn't believe it was real
and yet, it was so real and so happening

Years later, how I so badly wish to turn the time back
and relive just that one evening of my life
feel you so close to me just once again
live my entire life in that one moment again
all over again...
just for once...

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

What do you think?

2010-07-09T11:26:00.000-07:00

I am a big fan of Dr Gupta and I often read his columns on CNN's website. This recent column fom him caught my eyes and made me think:
CNN Article by Dr Sanjay Gupta

I can understand his delimna as he is torn between his feelings as a doctor and as a dad himself.

I strongly feel that the woman does have the right to see his kids and even the kids should have the opportunity to know the person responsible for bringing them into this world, before it is too late, given her condition.

And I am sure, seeing her kids, knowing them, getting to hold them,will make a big difference for her, not only emotionally, but psychologically as well.

I am still confused about the motives and feelings of her husband who has divorced her and wants the kids to not meet their mother. I mean, where were all these thoughts and concerns of him when he opted for the IVF procedure?

What do you all think?

Should this disabled mom be kept from kids? Do the kids have the right to know who their mother is and what her story was?

SUPER FUN for SUPER F-UN-SCRAMBLER GOLDEN rolling TROPHY

2010-07-03T20:53:00.000-07:00

*** Results coming out this evening guys !! Last call for all the unscramble champions to submit their answers !!

Shilpa from A rose is a rose passed on this trophy she won as a part of the super F-UN-SCRAMBLER contest. And as the results said, I share this trophy with Neha, Lazy Pineapple, Subhayan, Kshitij, Uma S, Hitesh Rawat and Aashi.

And as the name of the trophy says, SUPER F-UN-SCRAMBLER GOLDEN rolling TROPHY, which means, as Pallavi puts it , “ Proud recipients of the F-Un-Scrambler Golden rolling Trophy are HEREBY TAGGED to put up a similar post with scrambled/jumbled words!! No rules/conditions apply. It just has to be jumbled words or jumbled letters or both, the way you like it!!” And the winners would be given this beautiful golden trophy.

So, here comes the F-UN-Scramble challenge from me !!

Put on your thinking hats and get started...

These scrambled words are each missing one of their vowels. Add the correct vowel to each and unscramble all four words in this familiar group.

syrlep
gas
semyrar
hmet

So, get, set, go !! The clock starts now.

Think and you shall get it. And the shining trophy shall be yours :-)

Edited to add: Comm'n guys !! Is it that difficult?
Maybe, if you look at your "herbal" garden, you'll find the clues there :-)

Note: Comments will be moderated.

My Sins Against Gender-Stereotypes

2010-07-01T09:34:00.000-07:00

I saw this tag floating around started by IHM here and decided to tag myself !!

As IHM describes it:
If you are a woman,

Have you ever wanted something that is considered ‘manly’ ? Like a basketball, a cell phone, a dog, a camera or a new laptop? A new car or motor bike? Ever wanted to be a pilot? A doctor or not a nurse? And the manliest want of them all – The remote!

As a kid did you enjoy playing with a bat and a ball?

There was a time when books were considered ‘manly’, women authors had to pretend to be men – would you say books are still rather manly – women should want to embroider and crochet?

If you are a man,

Have you ever wanted something that only women are supposed to want – like bags, shoes, clothes, creams, perfumes, babies, flowers? A peaceful home and a happy family? Have you ever been afraid of the dark or of insects?

As a kid did you ever want to play ‘teacher-teacher’, cooking or did you like playing with a doll? Have you ever enjoyed cooking? Bought something in pink? Loved chocolates?

So, here's my list of what I think I do/love to which doesn't fit my gender stereotypes:

a) I love cars, the bigger the better !! I just love my RAV4 and it makes me sad if I have to trade it with hubby's Corolla for even a day. I just love to crank up the music to maximum volume and speed it on a highway.

b) I cannot stand a kitty parties (or any all-women party) where all they discuss is fashion, husbands, mother in laws and jwellery.

c) Since school days, I have had more male friends than female friends. I just can talk to them more freely than with my firl friends.

d) I cannot talk on the phone for hours with friends. Every once in a while, it can be a short hi-hello but I just cannot do an hour long conversation.

e) I once hugged a male friend of mine, even though I knew it would raise a lot of eyebrows in a small place like Varanasi, in a batch of students having only 4 girls and 33 boys.

f) I can't stand all those saas bahu serials or Bachler types shows showing naked hot boys. I love all those crime serials like CSI, NCIS, 24 and latest the Mentalist.

g) I do not love chocolates, yes I just don't. I can eat once in a while, but I just don't drool/crave or go crazy about it.

h) Among me and my husband, I am the strict parent, in charge of discipline and husband is the one responsible for spoiling and taking sides.

i) I love doing all sorts of work around my house and yard. I recently repainted my kitchen cabinets, my living room, cleared up my back yard and now ready to redo the basement in my house !!

j) I am the one in my house who'll figure out how to import contact from a old cell phone to new one, how to set up the wireless router, find deals on electric gadgets and score the best one.

k) I am the one in charge of all financial accounts/records in the household. Have buried all the passwords/access codes in my head. (See, this way, I can threaten hubby to run away anytime :-)

Phew !! There, got the list.
and yet these things fail to take away my love for my collection of nail polishes and lipsticks
I still love my pearls and rubies.
I still love to pamper myself at a parlour every now and then.
I still love the smell of first rain, reading love stories
Sunsets still make me sad
still confide in my mom and sisters more than anyone else in the world.

If you are reading this and like it, go ahead and tag yourself and do it. it's fun to explore your own self at times !!

Edited: Added my trophy from IHM

And I hope all is well from here

2010-06-18T09:35:00.000-07:00

Relationships are complex. People from different background, different circumstances, different situations have varying levels of expectations from each other. And when those are not met, it creates a huge mess and misunderstanding.that affects not the only people directly involved but several others.

Someone I know and very close to me had been in such a web for quite some time. And just got to know that with some efforts and initiatives from everyone involved, a lot of confusions, misunderstanding were cleared. Am I relieved? A lot because I know how much it was killing the people involved in it.
But I am just not daring enough to be happy yet, because I wast to wait and watch how the events unfold from here.
And that's why I wish, I hope all is well from here.
For everyone's sake ..

PS: The person mentioned above does read my blog. So, for a message for that person: You are so strong. And just so you know, you have all my support and help on this.

Raising a bilingual kid

2010-06-16T20:07:00.000-07:00

One of my managers never forgets to narrate this joke on every office lunches we go on:
"What do you call a person who knows multiple languages: multilingual
What do you call a person who knows 2 languages: bilingual
And what do you call a person who knows only language: American"

And given his seniority, all my colleagues, including me, are forced to fake a laughter every time.

But this post is not about an American or not, however it does have to do with the number of languages.
Before Aayush came along, the only kid I remember seeing grow up outside India was my brother in law's son. Born in India, he was there for about 2 years, where he was pretty close to his grandparents on both sides.
Then, they all moved to Canada, and slowly the kid, adapted to the new country, environment and most importantly language.
Pretty soon, the language he would interact would be English. In such a scenario, I clearly sensed the uncomfortable feeling and not so close interaction between him and his grandparents.

So, when Aayush came along, one thing I was determined to do was to make sure that he knows his language, or his "mother-father-dada-dadi-nana-nani-mama-mausi-bua" tongue.
Being the youngest kid on both sides, everybody wanted to hear him chatter and his innocent talks, and distance being already a barrier, I did not want language to be an additional barrier.

So I started interacting with him in as much as Hindi as possible at home.
Well, guess what, my only problem was that we did not have many Indian families in our neighborhood and the daycare-school he goes to had all-white population.

So I ran into situations like:
Aayush (to Andrew, on seeing his new car): mujhe bhi chalani hai yeh car !!
And Andrew looking at him questioningly as to what is he saying.

Or
Aayush (to his teacher, in the class): mere ko su su jana hai.
Obviously, teacher had no idea what he wanted and the result was a set of wet pants and very upset Aayush.

So, for a moment, I thought (and a lot of people around me also gave me this suggestion) that I should forget all this obsession about teaching him Hindi and just follow the rule "When is Rome, do as Romans do"
So, if you are in US, just let him speak Hindi.
But, as my husband says about me, if I am not convinced about something, I may act as if I am ready to do it but I just would not give it my 100% and make it work.
Hence, my obsession with Hindi was not over yet.

So, one day when I was picking up Aayush from his daycare, I had a little talk with one of his teachers and she said some thing, which just struck me. She said: "Parul, at this age, kids are like sponges. They will absorb so much that you won't believe yourself. you just have to give it some time"
And time and strategy is what I decided to give myself.
So, I picked 10-15 of the most frequently used words by Aayush and in my everyday life, whenever Aayush used that word, I took that opportunity to explain him the English as well as Hindi version of the word. And also that at home, he could use any of them, but at school, he should prefer the English ones.
So, I started with common words like milk, water, food, sleep, play, home, hot, cold.
And slowly,as he started talking more, I increased this list to include phrases and sentences.

And then our India trip happened. And that helped him so much. he heard everyone he met speaking hindi. He played all the games his mom and dad played as kids, made so many new friends in the neighborhood and on the streets, chased dogs and cows in the streets(and yes, I loved him doing it :-)
And it made him so much more fluent in Hindi.
By the time we came back here, at some time, I was starting to have concerns that now I'll have to enroll him in English speaking course, at other times, I worried myself thinking I was confusing my little kid too much in all this language

But, slowly, as his teacher had already told me so, it all started getting better. Aayush started realising the difference between words from 2 different languages and which ones to use where.

Now, I am proud to say that he is at a stage where he enjoys "A se anaar Aa se aam"
as much as "A for apple, B for Ball"

Both of these are his favorite poems:

Machli jal ki raani hai
Jeevan uska paani hai
haath lagao darr jayegi
bahar nikalo marr jayegi

I am a little teapot, short and stout
Here's my handle and here's my spout
When I get all heated up, hear me shout
Tip me over and pour me out

Obviously, this journey of mine has had its moments too, most of them really funny.
Like the time, when he saw a girl dressed in tank top and a short skirt, like this, his first comment was:

"Mummy, yeh aunty to saare kapde hi pehnna bhool gayee !!"
(Mummy, I think this women forgot to wear all her clothes)

Now, thank god that comment as in Hindi, so the clothes forgetting babe" didn't quite get my baby had just said !!

Or the time, when he saw this women on one of the workout programs on TV,

He yelled: "Oh chori !! Gir jayegi !!" (O Girl, you'll fall)

Or the time when he tried to teach me how to say an English word here

But in the end, it has all been worth it !!
After all, I can feel it when he wants to be the first to pick up any phone from India, to greet his Babaji, Amma, Nana and Nani with a sweet namaste (obviously when he is in a mood, else we can keep asing him to talk and he just wouldn't !!)

And before I sign off, here's the latest favorite song of my lil star !! (And it is real fun to see him trying to sing along with this song)

Dil se

Mind Reading

2010-06-08T19:51:00.000-07:00

Do you ever wonder how much fun it would be if we could read the mind of the person we wanted to ?
I mean, just take a look inside that "upper compartment" of other people and see what kind of traffic is going on there? Wouldn't that be wonderful !!

I know, it would create a lot of chaos too.
I mean, imagine, my neighbor's wife going on and on and on about her "beautiful" garden and me thinking in my mind:"You call these teeny tiny leaves and purple flower beautiful? I have hundreds of them in my garden?I call them weeds here :-)"

Now, if she has the ability to read my mind, I will have to force my mind to even think good !!
Or my dumb manager telling me how to do the work and me thinking in my mind: "Someone dumb like you must have made you a manager, because you just don't deserve this position !!" And if he some how got the ability to read my mind, I would be looking for a new job the very next day :-)

In our day to day life, we do have "kind of" ability to read the minds of ones near to us (or that's what we think)
Like, my son, I know he got a lot of genes and looks from me.And when I say genes, not sure why, but the Big Guy above decided only to stuff him with those part of genes which made me throw really bad tantrums when I was growing up or doing things I was not supposed to do. (you better believe me on this, my mom can vouch on this behavior of mine)
So, now, when my son throws a tantrum just when I am getting late for work, I know exactly what and how he is thinking, and what I can say/do to pacify/engage/divert him

So, while we are on this topic of mind reading and "what ifs" enjoy this song too :-)

Dil se

Once upon a time

2010-06-01T20:24:00.000-07:00

Today, I want to tell a story, a story about some one I know and used to know. As you read the story, you'll know why I used the terms "I know" and "used to know".
Because as we know people, over time, people change and along with that, our perceptions about them also change. So, I will not begin by saying that all characters in this story are fictional and any resemblance is coincidental. because it is not.

So the person I knew, lets call her "S", I was very close to her and she was also fond of me (or at least I think so). So, my first impression of her was a very naive and well protected girl. After all, the youngest daughter in the family with 2 elder brothers, what else would you expect. I saw her struggling with grades, overprotected by her mother on any and every tantrum she threw and nagged by her father on every small thing. So, my observation about her was that of a very mommy girl, with no mind or thinking of hers.
And as time passed, several other incidents kind of confirmed my observation and impression of hers.
I saw her eating food as per her mom's choice, selecting clothes as per her mom's choice, even making career and job choices as per her mom's choices.
May be there's no wrong in that, but the background I came from, I never needed my mom's permission to do things, I cared to inform her about what I was doing.

Anyhow, so coming back to her story, cut to the time and S is now at an age when parents start looking for a match for the girl. So her parents also started the search. And like all girls object saying "I do not want to get married now, I want to wait" she also said that but I always thought that the first match her parents and brothers find for her, as long as her mother had an approval stamp on it, it will be a sure shot match and it will be "chat mangni pat byaah"

For a long time then, I got caught up with happenings in my own life and could not observe or care about a lot happening in her life. Finally, when I did get a chance to catch up, I was curious to know what happened to her and how her life turned out. And there I had the shock of my life.

I found out that she, one day, out of blue announced to her parents that she had already found a match for herself and she wanted to get married to only that guy and no one else.
No, no... it was not a shock because of what she announced. I was shocked to see it coming from her and also shocked to see how the events unfolded them later. The guy she had selected was found to be of completely different caste than her own family. So in a way, her parents just decided to disown her if she did not leave that guy. But she was adamant on just one thing: Either him or no one else.

I guess, more than anything else, I was most surprised by the transformation I saw in that girl. I remembered that meek, not so confident and decided girl.
Was it time that changed her so much or was it love ?
I definitely think it is the later !!

After a complete episode of all sorts of bollywood style dramas and rona dhona, the parents finally gave in and now they are getting ready to tie the knot in near future.
As for me, I am kind of torn in my feelings. I am happy for her but not so happy at her choice. Don't get me wrong, I don' even care about the caste or the religion. It's just that when I met this guy for the first time, he just didn't leave "that" good impression. But, as they say
"Jab miya biwi raazi to kya karega kaazi"
So who cares, I am just an outsider, just watching and making observations
About things and people in life, as I see them
As I like/not so like them

Let's wish her all the very best in life :-)

Dil se

Jumbled up

2010-05-28T08:47:00.000-07:00

So, I am back, after a long time on my blog.
And it's not that I haven't been thinking about writing
I actually am at a point where I have a potpourri of ideas and thoughts going on in my mind
I pick up one thing to write about and then another thought plays a peek a boo to capture my attention
and this goes on and on
In fact, the following picture goes very close to picture my state of mind

Pic: Linked from http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/2103347/StateofMind

Now, when I started writing this, I needed a picture to display my state of mind. So off I went to Google.
And then, again I was lost and confused, so many options, so many images.
Which one should I use, which one actually does my mind relate to?
and back to square one ...

Speaking of Internet, with so many media to connect and share and interact, I am still amazed at some of the "not-so-courtseous" behaviors displayed on this media. Don't believe, see for yourself:

a) Mr "I am getting married" from my University decides to tell everyone on the group email that finally he found someone lucky to marry. Fair enough.
But then at least 10 "I am happy for you" folks hit "Reply All" on their inboxes and sent him a message. People, see carefully. There is "Reply"button just next to it and you are supposed to hit that. No one else is interested in knowing how/why you congratulate him for his marriage.

b) Mr "I love to spell words wrong", just so that you know, there is a spell check in almost every email editor these days and it is FREE. so please use it, at least for the official emails. Imagine the receivers' impression when they see you spelling "mentioned" as "mensioned" and "completion" as "complesion"

c) Hey Mr "I want to talk to all on FB", in an effort to just get into every conversation, please do not jump into conversations I am having with people on my wall you don't even know.

Phew !! Yup, these are some of the real life incidents I have faced in just recent past. And I am sure there are many more out there.

Other than that,at my house, we are geared up for summer activities with Aayush. Yes, he is all excited about the water parks and slides and the orange, lime and red popsicles and water melon and bike riding and what not !! He even complains that Sun is a "bad" boy not going to his home for sleep when it is his bed time (sometimes, there is still light when it's his bed time)

Catch you all again soon

Ms Witch

2010-05-11T09:50:00.000-07:00

Why do people have to be so,so rude!! And so much so, that it spoils some one's day !!
And that too, the rude person I am referring to , is in a official government position representing my country.

Here's the story and see for yourself..
My indian passport is set to expire in June of this year, so I was preparing the documents for the renewal of passport. I went to the Indian embassy website, clicked on a few links and found that the application has to be filled online and submitted. Once I fileld up the application online, at the end, it gave me an option for setting up an appointment date and time to submit the application in person at the embassy.
Confused by this "appointment" thing, I decided to give their customer service a call.

After 5 rings, Ms Witch(yeah, that's how I am going to refer her in this narration) picks up the number and tells me in her YAWNING voice "Indian consulate passportr services"

I explain the situation to her and ask her whether I can submit the application by mail as well.

And the response I get, "didn't you read the website? It is all there !! and specially in bold font and red color for people like you, who do not read the website"

I still keep my cool and tell her "Madam, I understand that, but when I printed my application, it said that my appointment has been set up for this week itself and this being such an important document, I got all confused"

And to this her response was "It is all there on the website. Let me walk you you through. Open up your computer now"
"I am not in front of my computer right now" was my response.
To which she obliged me saying: "then call me when you are in front of your computer"
By now, she was totally on my nerves. so I just asked her this
"Why do you have to be so rude for all this? I agree this information may be on the website and I may not have looked carefully. But you could have ..."
"Hang on a minute" Came the reply, patak se

Next thing I know, she puts me on hold and in the background, I can listen her, laughing and talking to her some other colleague, saying "some one's trying to lecture me. Now let her be on hold for another hour and she'll know better !!"
I was appalled, disgusted, humiliated and flared up, all at the same time.

So, Ms Witch, here's my revenge for you...
Jaa, main tujhe shraap deti hoon
- Your cell phone bill has some major error this month and when you call the customer service to get it corrected, you encounter a person who is double rude and obnoxious that you.

- Next time, when you go to a resturant for a nice dinner, the server spills up hot soup on your dress, then serves you nastiest food available and you find a dead fly in your half eaten soup
- Next time, you go to a store, you acccidently miss paying for a lipstick/perfume and just when you are leaving the store, their buzzer goes off and the store manager humiliates you in front of everyone byasking you to pay for the things.
And the worst is here
- Tonight, when your teen son/daughter asks you to help them on their science home work with some research, and you cannot find the information you are looking for, they say, "Mom, you are so DUMB"
And now, a prayer to uparwale !!

Uparwale jee, You saw/listened everything, so be a fair judge and make sure my shraap doesn't go wasted.

And me, still in a bad mood !!

Edited To add: I did some searches on Indian Embassy in Washington DC and looks like I am not the only one. See the following link to read similar stories from other people:
http://maps.google.com/maps/place?rlz=1T4GGLL_enUS317US317&um=1&ie=UTF-8&q=indian+embassy+washington+DC&fb=1&gl=us&hq=indian+embassy&hnear=washington+DC&cid=10497388930224686059&dtab=2&ei=wOX_S82uAYzCNamssTs&sa=X&oi=local_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CAwQqgUwAA

Yaad Nahin

2010-04-29T18:49:00.000-07:00

Found this in my collection of old CDs and instantly fell in love with this ghazal all over again.
So much so that it starts playing as soon as I get into the car and keeps playing till I am totally out of my car, with my stuff !!
Only Jagjit Singh could have done ultimate justice with these mesmerizing lyrics:

yaad nahi … yaad nahi
yaad nahi kya kya dhekha dha saare manzar bhool gaye(2)
Uski galiyom se jab loutte apna bhi ghar bhool gaye
yaad nahi … yaad nahi….

Khoob gaye pardhes ki apne dheevaaro dhar bhool gaye(2)
Sheeshmahal ne aisa ghera mitti ke ghar bhool gaye
Uski galiyom se jab loutte apna bhi ghar bhool gaye
yaad nahi … yaad nahi….

Thujhko bhi jab apni kasme apne vayade yaad nahi(2)
Hum bhi apne khaab theri aankhom mei rakh kar bhool gaye
Uski galiyom se jab loutte apna bhi ghar bhool gaye
yaad nahi … yaad nahi….

Mujhko jinhomne khathl kiya hai koyi unhei bathlaye nazir(2)
Meri laash ke pahloo mein wo apna khanjar bhool gaye
Uski galiyom se jab loutte apna bhi ghar bhool gaye
yaad nahi … yaad nahi….

Enjoy the song here, which I dedicate to one of my long lost friends, whom I got to speak during my last trip to India. Somehow, listening to this song brought back a lot of my memories.

Enjoy !!
PS: Lyrics courtesy of http://old.musicindiaonline.com/lr/9/1422/

Home

2010-04-14T09:06:00.000-07:00

Before marriage, her parents said "This is not your true home. you have to go to your own home one day"
After marriage, whenever she cried, her MIL said "Show these tantrums at your own home and not here"

Finally, she found her "home" at the "shelter for battered women"

Image courtsey of: http://organizations.bloomu.edu/nsslha/service%20committee%20page.html

PS: This is my first try at the 55-word fiction. I have been reading them on a lot of blogs and wanted to give it a try. The idea for this post came from the title of Nancy's recent post.

Should they be scared?

2010-04-09T10:11:00.000-07:00

"Jaldi se khana kha lo nahin to abhi police aa jayegi"

"Chup hote ho ya abhi monsters ko bulaoon?"

"Wahan us andhere kamre mein budhaa baba rehta hai jo badmashi karne walon ko utha kar le jata hai"

These are some of the lines I have frequently heard from my other friends who have small kids. And I have somehow never felt comfortable with scaring the kids with these tactics.
Because I believe at that age, their hearts and minds are so fragile that they are willing to believe whatever we, as parents tell them.
And, at least, from my own kid's view, I know, he may not take a word from anyone else but he beleives his Mom and Dad like anything
and I am sure this is the same with all the other kids out there !!

I remember when I was growing up, whenever I would hear anything absurd, I would come and get my facts check with my Mom and her word was the final seal of truth for me.
So, when we as parents scare them with such things, they have this fear stamped in their minds and heart.
And I definitely don't want my kid to grow up being scared of anything. So I am a big opposer of this way of discipling.
Many fellow moms I had discussions with, argued that they need something so that in that scare, the kid would listen to them.
Well, my arguement is: Using scaring techniques, there are 2 possibilities: Either you will be really able to scare the kid and discipline him.
But then, just wait and see what you do to his confidence. A scared kid is never a confident kid.
Or else, the kid will realise pretty soon (believe me they are pretty smart at this) that Mom/Dad are just using tactics to get the things done their way.
And so they won't be scared at all.
So, in both the cases, the results are not what any parents would like to see.

See, the school of parenting I came from (which means the home where I was raised) I grew up seeing my mom taking every opportunity to make us bold and fearless.
I remember, when we were in Ranchi, I (was 6 then) often I used to get up in the middle of night to go to the bathroom and to go there, I had to cross an open verandah
I was dead scared to go out, so I would just lay in my bed not going. When mumma realized this, she told me one thing: Whenever you are out alone in the dark, look up at the sky and see if the moon is following you. Then you have nothing to be scared of, since you know you are not alone"
I still remember this when I am getting back late from work or have to go out in the night for anything. One look up on the sky and I know I am not alone !!

Recently, we had some friends over at our house and the friend's kid and my son were playing on the sofa. It so happened that one of the trick they were trying to do was lie upside down on the sofa (with legs up on the seat and hands on the floor) and trying to get up on the sofa.
As it happens, my son all of a sudden, lost his balance and his mouth bumped against the carpert and eventually he bit his lips.
There was some blood and crying, but eventually his dad picked him up and started showing him the "correct" way to do this trick.
Those friends were appalled at this since their idea was to tell the kid to never try this again otherwise he would hit himself again.
And this was a better option for the safety of the kid too, because this was not at all a safe trick to do.
However, my husband's idea (and I supported him on this) and arguement was: "Why should we stop him by putting this fear of hurting in his mind?"
"Let him see what he was doing wrong and then let him make this decision for himself that we was trying to do was not safe"

We had long discussion on this and no party was agreeable to other's view point.And I agree, no 2 parents have same style and views.
In the end, each one of them is trying to do what they think is best for their kids.

But, in all this, I, for sure, feel strongly about this: "Do not scare those innoent minds and hearts"

What do you say? What's your opinion as a parent, as a person who was kid at one point?

Weekend activities

2010-04-05T10:09:00.000-07:00

Watched Tum Milo to sahi(TMTS) over the weekend and really liked it.
Loved it for the performance of Dimple and Nana
Saw Suniel Shetty after a really long time and he rocks in his role.
Some of the scenes I really liked:
- Nana's entry scene when Mohnish Behl kind of forces him to retire and replaces him with a computer
- When he comes back to Dimple to apologise for his behavior
- And specially when he encounters an eunuch on the road

I think the film clearly showed how the meaning of love changes at different stages of life, in terms of age and situations.
One of the quotes I really loved from the movie:

"Aisa kaam kabhi karna hi nahin chahiye jiske loye sorry bolna pade"
I understand it is just impossible for us humans to not to make mistakes but believing in the above, just makes us more cautious in what we do and what we speak.

Besides, TMTS, I did get a lot accomplished over the weekend:
Cleaned up my lawn, planted some new tulips, did some clothes and shoes shopping for my son,rearranged my kitchen closets!!
He did wear one of the new jacket vest and sandals I got for him today to school and after he got dressed, his reaction on himself was: "I am feeling smart today :-)"
Awww.. I had to put a kala teeka on him (the modern version... a dot behind the ear with the Kajal pencil:-)

Nostalgic

2010-04-02T09:11:00.000-07:00

I missed you Papa yesterday when I made your favorite dal for dinner, and missed you Mom when it somehow tasted exactly like how you used to make it when we all came back from school/college/work in the afternoons and you had the entire lunch table ready for us.

And I mised you Ritu, my sis on your B'day today.
May you have everything and anything you wish for!!

On the lighter note: My brother crafted this to tease her:
Whole world gets fooled on April 1, the April Fool's day. And my mom dad got fooled on April 2 when she came to them :-)

Oh, and he is good at creating such teasers for his sisters

Once, my mom was trying to find the birth certificate for my youngest sis she needed for some of her degree program. And my mom somehow just couldn't find it. And that just gave him this idea. He goes to S, my youngest sis and says this (Imagine this with saadest look on his face and an equally sad tone):

"I think I'll have to finally reveal it to you since Mom just can't break this to you. You see, you are not her real daughter, she found you lying somewhere and so she just adopted you. All these years, she just didn't want to make you sad, so she showed you some fake papers while you could not read. Now that you have somehow learned to read, she is acting as if she cannot find it, but actrually there is none"

And sitting there, we all were in splits of laughter, while S was running after my brother to get hold of him and tell him how much real and adopted she was. He still teases her on this till day.

Gosh, those were such good old days !!
I so miss them.

And now that I wrote it,I realise that I do rewind to my past a lot.
Whether it is good or not, but that is true. My family, my brother and my sisters are my lifeline.

Happy

2010-03-27T08:26:00.000-07:00

I am happy today, like the one really happy :-)
and why, because I cleaned today !!
Well some of you may think I am crazy but I am pretty sure there are lots of cleanliness freaks out there like me who would be nodding their heads as I say this !!
So, after a long, long time, I really did some cleaning in my house today.
And now that I think about it, I don't think I have even spent this much time on cleaning ever since Aayush has been here !!
Now given that he is just getting ready to be 4, don't get an idea that I was living a house full of mess and dirt all the time. On other days, it was just enough to "get it done"
So, why this "safai ka bhoot" all of a sudden !!
Well. to begin with, I have some friends coming over to my place tomorrow, and they would be visiting this place of ours for the first time. And I did want to create a good impression.

Secondly, over the last few weeks, I have been repainting some of my kitchen cabinets, just to give my kitchen a new look. Now, that work was almost over, so I thought it would be a good time to do overall clean up.

But I must admit, after working for almost 5 hours, cleaning each and every corner of the house, I have this overly contended feeling. Even though I know, tomorrow morning, the quest to mess up this place will start all over again, thanks to Aayush and his dad !!

And, while we are on the subject of my kitchen cabinets, take a look at some of the before and after pictures of my cabinets:

BEFORE:

and this is the AFTER look:

Lot more changes in kitchen are still pending and need to do a lot of planning for those. Will share the pictures when all is done.

A close encounter

2010-03-19T14:05:00.000-07:00

So Mr Moti/Tiger/Rocket(or whatever your owner used to call you) and your dear friend

This same day of last week is still crisp clear in my mind. It was a beautiful Friday outside and a casual Friday at work. I was all elated thinking "TGIF" and about being 20 mins early to work.

And then as I took a turn on the side walk of the parking lot, I saw you and your friend, walking out of nowhere. In my head, that little voice was telling me "Don't you dare to run. Just be calm and pass through them. Nothing will happen"

But then, all of the sudden, just like that, both of you started running towards me and this time my little voice shouted at me "Just run the hell out of here, as fast as you can"

And I did, shouting my lungs out "Help me"
But where could I run? The door to the office was on the opposite side and moreover, how could a 2 legged creature like me outrun 2 4-legged creatures?
So. finally you caught up with me. I tried to use my bag as my only defence against you but in vain. Trying to fight with whatever force I had, I stumbled and hit my head on the ground. And I knew this was bad, because now you two had the edge over me.

But I guess, finally some one did hear me yelling and fighting, so 2 other people came running and tried to grab you 2 off. But it looked like both of you were pretty determined not to let me go. at this point, another female arrived in her SUV, honking loudly, to distract you and get you off.

Finally security arrived and took the situation in control and locked you both up in the car.
And all terrified me, was too shaken up to react. Moreover, the bump in the head from hitting the concrete ground had now started to hurt.

Wow, what a Friday start I had !!
Animal control and EMT where immediately on the scene.

The EMT guy (now that I remember, he was pretty good looking :-) kept asking me "what date is it today? What month? How many fingers can I see?" It was only later that I realised that he was trying to determine if I had any internal injury.

On the other end, some one got some food for you 2 and it was evident that both of you had been out for several days and had not eaten for days. The animal control car took away both of you from the location.

Besides, the ever hurting bump in my head, I did feel sorry for you two. And I just wanted to let you know that I didn't mean to get you in trouble in any ways. It was just a momentary reaction from a "never-had-a-dog-as-a-pet" person.

I am not sure what I could have done differently to ensure this didn't happen to you.

From
A dog fearing person

PS: In case, you are wondering who this is addressed to, they were 2 dogs who wandered into the parking lot of my work location

PPS: I later tried to found out to whom those dogs belonged to and what is going to happen to them. I found that the owner had probably abandoned them (the female dogs just had babies) and had not come to claim them.
The animal shelter was going to wait to 10 days for either the owner to claim them or some one to adopt them, after which their policy is to put them down, since they have an incident of attacking a human being.
I have put a request to them that I do not want this to be considered as a "attack"(they never bit me or scratched me). I have also been spreading word at my work and in my neighbourhood to see if someone is willing to adopt these dogs.

PPPS: I do not in any way intend to hurt the feeling of animal/dog lovers through this post. I am just narrating this incident as it really happend with me week and my thoughts about it as I reflected on it later.

Happy Women's Day

2010-03-09T07:09:00.000-08:00

Happy Women's day to all the women out there. And specially to the most important woman in my life... yes Mom you. This post is for you and for the most important lessons of life you gave me and all of us.

You so effortlessly taught us the lesson of change, specially as we saw you transform from a pampered daughter and sister to the eldest daughter in law in papa's family and adjusted to the family so beautifully.

You taught us the lesson of patience as all four of us tested your patience days after days doing the same mistakes and you corrected us with the same calm tone each time.

You taught us the lesson of financial freedom by making us realise that our education was not a way to attain degrees but a path to financial freedom.

You showed us the valuable lesson of judgement by not hesitating to point out our mistakes whenever we made one and showing us the right way to correct those.

You satisfaction and contentment in situations even when life was not so full of riches gave us the lesson of contentment

Your strength to always speak the truth, even if it was not always the sweetest thing everyone wanted to hear, gave us the lesson of truth

Your confidence and level of comfort in whatever we did and your trust in us more than we ourselves had is us taught us the lesson of friendship with daughters

Our yearning to have a single hug or embrace from you even in the time of serious illness made us realise the lesson of love we got from you.

And mom, finally, the way you stood up for yourself and the pride you took in your daughters gave us the biggest lesson, the lesson of being a woman.

Happy Woman's Day Mom !!
And happy Woman's day to all the women out there !!

Holi Celebrations

2010-03-08T19:10:00.000-08:00

So this weekend, the Hindu Temple here in Cincinnati had a big Holi celebration program which included dance performances by kids of all age groups. And Bollywood song and dance sequences have always been my favorite. I was so mesmerized by that entire program that I didn't even try to get to the food stalls where Samosas, Bhelpuri and chaat were lined up.

Anyway, that evening brought back 2 realizations to me:

a) Seeing all those little kids, specially girls, all dressed up and with their moms' entire make up kit put on their face, I just reminded myself how desperately I want to have a girl.

b) It also reminded me how participating in a choreographed dance sequence was my desire and passion for such a long time and the one time I finally was able to fulfill it.

It was the time I was at BHU, in 3rd year. Every year, we used to have freshers party for the new incoming batch and a farewell party for the outgoing batch.

And being the conservative place Varanasi was,and also given the fact that most of our batches had a boys to girls ratio of 1:10, most of these events had boys in the lead.
And girls were given the responsibilities like creating the banners, decorating the hall, wearing sarees and looking good.

So, the second year I was there, at the farewell party, I broke the tradition by volunteering to do compering for the party.

And then there was this friend of mine in my batch who was nick named "Prabhu Deva of BHU" obviously thanks to his expert dancing skills. On each event, he used to take a group of boys and train them on a dance sequence for the event. So one time it was "Main to hoon Paagal Munda tu hai meri soni kudi" and the other time it was "Hello Doctor dil ki chori ho gayee"

Finally comes the third year and it was time for the farewell of our own batch.
Now because Mr Prabhu Deva was a good friend of mine, so I convinced him to try some thing different before we left the university. Instead of boys, have a dance sequence with girls.
And my persistence finally won over his reluctance.

And quickly we selected the group and the song

For practice, we "borrowed" one of the rooms every evening for an hour from a friend who lived there.

And this entire thing was kept as secret to reveal it as a surprise element on the event. And finally, the event day arrived.And given the fact that no one knew about it before hand and then it was intentionally kept as the last item in the event, everyone was taken by surprise.

And did I enjoy it? A lot !! The music, the rhythm, seeing the looks on the crowd !! I can tell you I can still feel the chills going through my spine as I write it even after about so many years.

And the best part, one of my professors, who was known for his very serious nature and very difficult exams, gave a compliment "I never knew you had this talent too !! (Because till now, I was known more for my programming skills rather than any thing else)

So, the event at the temple brought back all those memories and all the music made me tap my feet all the time.

PS: (Edited to add): I didn't realise it until Nancy pointed it out that I never "explicitly" mentioned the song we all danced on. It is actually the same song I linked below. Falguni's "Maine payal hai"

Oh, and before I sign off, here's the song that I still adore to this day:

Enjoy ...
Dil se

Let's rewind !!

2010-02-28T19:16:00.000-08:00

Some dreams are just to remain dreams, some come with strings atached with them and fulfillment of some affects many others around you. So, the delima of mine I mentioned in my last post, was one of such a kind. My decision will have effect on at least 3 lives and a lot seems to be on stake. So I am just unable to make myself go through this road.

Will I regret it? Not really, because I am taking this decision for myself, for the ones I love too much, for some priorities we had decided a long time back.

Will I be stuck going on the same road? Not even that !! Because a change is what I definitely need. I just need to find another path which is a little more favorable for my situations and priorities.

Wish me luck on my search and endeavor !!

Confused

2010-02-22T09:21:00.000-08:00

I am confused, tired and sleep deprived and frustrated ....

Confused because I am considering a career change, but am not able to convince myself whether I can do it or not. It will be a big change for my life and my career and I have tried to consider all facts needed to make the decision. But still, I am lost and confused and scared. Don't know whom to talk to or take some guidance.

Tired and sleep deprived because I keep thinking about this issue and am losing my sleep over it. I know I have to make a decision pretty soon. It is sort of "now or never" situation for me.
And then my daily horoscope on google homepage says this:

You have enough facts at your disposal now. Sure, there's always more to learn, but additional information won't make your choice any easier, nor will it guarantee a better outcome. In fact, you may already have the answer you need. Instead of going over all the details one more time, give yourself a bit of space to clear your mind. This will allow the right decision to come to you naturally from the depths of your creative imagination.

Really? Lets see.. I so wish I can decide on one of the paths real soon !!

For those 10 years

2010-02-09T13:36:00.000-08:00

10th Feb, 2010.. This day is special for me and for someone who is special for me
Here's 10 lines for the person who has been brave enough to tolerate me for last 10 years and still shows no signs of giving up :-) (Okay, occassionally, we do get to the stage of almost getting a talak !!)

When I met you for the first time, without knowing your name, your face or what you did, I never believed you would be the person who would:

- Make me check my hotmail account at work (where hotmail was blocked), just to see if you had sent me an email

- Run out in drenching rain to the phone booth just to talk to me for 4 minutes !!

- Send me poems and lines(of course, copied from Internet) but those made me feel as if you just wrote them for me

- Bring me to a whole new world to start a new life of our own

- Hold my hands and comfort me through the most difficult phase of my life

- Distort the lyrics of every song that I like to hum while it is playing

- Make me start drinking tea, considering the fact that I never had tea in my life before I met you.

- Make me your partner in true sense by considering my opinion in all matters !! Yes, all of them... "does this shirt needs to be washed?" to "Should I go for this job change?"

- Be the best dad someone can be for my lil Aayush

- Be there for me, by me and always with me for the last ten years !!

A very happy 10th anniversary to you dear !!

And here's the song you always sang for me(let's say yelled) when you were to happy or missed me (when I was gone for a month for my work)

Love u
Dil se...

No Sorry, No Thank You !! Really?

2010-01-26T10:04:00.001-08:00

Yeah, that's what Suman said to Prem in MPK

"Dosti ka ek usool hai, no sorry, no thank you!!"

Well, this rule may be applicable in friendship, but when it comes to our everyday life, we all know how a unanticipated sorry or an unexpected thank you goes a long way.

Sometimes, they make a day for some one; Sometimes, they redefine your attitude towards that person.
However, why is it that when it comes to the people who we are closest to, our spouse, our kids, our siblings, our parents -- that we tend to overlook these simple gestures?

This morning, I had to be at work at 9 sharp for an important meeting. Generally I get at work around 9:15 AM. So it was a matter of getting early 15 minutes. But, you see, my morning schedule is tied to at what time Aayush wakes up,how much tantrums he throws for brushing his teeth, how soon can he tell me what he wants for breakfast, how much time does it take for him to decide whether he wants to wear a Monkey George jacket today or an Elmo socks.

So, between all these, sqeezing 15 minutes seemed like a bit little difficult. But at the same time, I desperately wanted to show up for my meeting in time.

So, when Aayush woke up, and I had my little morning talk with him, I explained to him that Mommy had to get to work a little early today and if he could be a good boy for me today, I would be so happy.

He gave me a big grin and said: "Okay, Mommy, lets get ready fast, otherwise you'll be late!!"

And bingo, we were out of the house, all ready by 8:32 and I was at my work at 8:57 AM.And that's when in the car (luckily before I dropped him), it struck me and I turned around

(No, don't worry, I was stopping at a red light) : "Aayush, Thank you. "

He smiled and said: "Why, mommy?"

And me: "Because you were good today and you helped me get to my office in time"

I could tell from his face that he was proud and happy for his little achievement at the same time !!
This was one opportunity and fortunately I acted in time and told my son what I felt.But how many times have I thanked my husband when he (without me asking him to do so) kept my office laptop in the car in the morning before leaving for his work?

Or when he lets me sleep an extra 15 minutes on Saturday while he takes Aayush to the bathroom?

Or how many times have I thanked my sister for getting up all sleepy eyed in the middle of the night when I wanted to talk to her when it is day time for me?

or my mom for searching 10 different shops "that perfect peacock blue bangles" that matched my latest dress?
Is it that when we are too close to poeple, we take them for granted and we get so comfortable that we forget life's basic courtseys?

Or is it that open expression is not a part of our culture?

Or is it that we that these things bring a sense of formality in relations?

For me, I know I cannot say "Love you" to my spouse on phone when I am talking to him from my work(which is very common among the people here)

And I somehow do not very comfortable saying "Love you" to my mom or dad

And that's just because that's the way I grew up. I can express myself to them in hundreds other unspoken ways, but can never say this to them in words.

On the other hand, Aayush says "I love you" to me and his dad almost everyday before leaving for school, before going to bed !

Do you see the contrast here? Does that sound very unusual?
Not expressing verbally can sometimes create rifts in relationships too !! and no, I am not talking about the married relations only!!

I know of a close relative, who is not on speaking terms with my family, because he feels that we do not consider him a part of our family. This is irrespective of the fact that my parents consider him a part of the family more than a few of other relations !!

But just because this was never expressed in words, the confusion and misunderstandings have gotten so complex that it is beyond explanation now.

So, what's your expression style?

More verbal or expressive?

Do you also think we take too much liberty with the ones we are closest too?

Do you also feel that these phrases make a very close relation a little too formal?

Would love to know what you all think..

Till then, me also thinking .....
Dil se

Expectations

2010-01-26T09:11:00.000-08:00

A very good point in this little boy's response. I just love him :-)

Why, Oh Why?

2010-01-18T07:14:00.000-08:00

Why, Oh why does it happen that:

a) On weekdays, I am making lists of things to do on Weekends and on Sunday, I am making lists of things to do on weekdays?

b) I get to spend more time with my son on the days when he gets sick or in case of inclement weather but not on regular weekends?

c) The things/people I want to forget, I can never forget them and when I want to remember deadline for one important thing (renew library DVDs, pay my bills), I tend to forget that?

d) Why does even an hour of Me time for myself come with so much of guilt? "Should I go today or may be some time later?""Will he be okay? Will he look for me?""Will he eat his lunch okay without me?""He won't cry, will he?"

e) I start my conversation with my mom as "Bus sub as usual hai maa !!" And then we talk for like hours about all the unusual things going on in our life !!

Does it happen to you too?

Finger painting craft ideas

2010-01-13T19:14:00.000-08:00

Now that Aayush is growing up, I need a variety of activities to keep him busy all the times. And one of his favorite activities is paint colors, and that too getting them messy, on his hands, clothes, carpet everywhere !!
When he is in such a mood for mess, some finger painting ideas come in handy.
Here are some of the drawings I have tried with him. One of them was the one they did at his school and we recreated it at home also over a weekend.

1) Finger painted giraffe

a) Print a single yellow handprint. The palm forms the body, the fingers the legs and the thumb forms the tail.
b) Then using the side of the hand, print the neck and add a fingerprint for the head.
c) When the yellow paint is dried, use brown fingerprints to make the giraffe’s spots.

2) Caterpillar and the flowers:

a) Create the caterpillar using thumbprint with alternating colors
b) For the flower, use 4 thumbprints for the petals and 2 for leaves.
c) For the butterfly, use 4 prints of the same color
d) Similarly, created sun using the index finger prints in circle.
e) Once all the colors are dried, Finish the butterfly, caterpillar and the flowers using a black marker.

So, go ahead and give these crafts a try with your little ones and see how much they enjoy it.

And, this is my submission to Artsy craftsy challenge by Mindful Meanderings too.

Catch you all later
Dil se

I am back

2010-01-05T07:53:00.000-08:00

I am back, from the vacation, from the jetlag, from the daunting task of unpacking after a trip to India. (Yes, unpacking after a trip to India is tiring but equally exciting !! Gosh, how come Moms have so many things to give to their daughters? How come they can think of every small thing I might need here which may not be available in my city? From home dried methi, that new style bangles I'd like, or winter warmers for the little baby and what not !! The list goes on and on and on !!)
and my Dad, I promise, if he had his contacts at United States customs office, he'd pack a dozen of suitcases for me filled with all his favorite sweets !! ladoo, revdi,gacchak,patisa, nariyal burfi, kaju burfi, khoya laddoo, gajar burfi, boora, shakkar and the list just does not end.
Gosh, sometimes I wonder, why did a problem like high sugar had to come on such a sweet Dad of mine.

And did I miss my blog? sometimes I did, and some times not!! I missed it when I saw something/someone touched me when I was there. But otherwise, I tried to stay away as much as possible from the computer during my vacation.
But now that I am back, I have lots to write and share with you all.
And I have a long list of posts to read too. I promise to get back on track soon and be in touch with you all again.

And the end of my vacation also marked the end of the year.
Here's wishing a very happy and propserous new year to all my friends.
May all your dreams and wishes come true and have a great time in the days to come.

Will be back soon.
Till then

Dil se

8 X 8

2009-11-25T12:40:00.000-08:00

No, no this is not the size of any of the windows in my house :-) This is the tag I got from Nancy. and I was kind of in a rush to get this done, because then I have this big vacation to India coming up !! Yay !! So here, it goes:
8 TV shows I like to watch
I hardly get some time to catch up on my favorite shows. But whenever I do , I love these:
The Metalist: I love Patrick Jane, everything about him.
The good wife: This one is a new series on CBS and it is about the wife of a politicain who
gets caught in a sex scandal. Love the wife Alicia Florrick's character.
Grey's Anatomy: McDreamy and Meredith Grey, what else can I say?
Desperate housewives: My husband just hates this program and I just love it :-)
Cold case: I somehow love the the programs involving case investigations and this one is
a bit different in that sense.
Friends, Everybody loves Raymond: Although these programs are off the air now, but I love to watch their reruns anytime.
Test Kitchen: Only when they show some baking recipes or a good vegetarin recipe
Antique Roadshow: People bring their antiques to appraisers on this show and get the value of their antiques appriased. It is interesting to see the story or the value of some antiques on it. (I searched all my closets to find a worthy "antique" but came up only with old clothes/shoes/bags :-)

8 favourite places to eat
Definitely, the first one would be at my mom's place when all my sisters and brother gather and we all take a seat on the living room floor with our food.
In my own kitchen, with my son and husband, with my son's jokes and laughter.
Being a vegatarian, I don't have a whole lot places to eat outside. I love mexican food and
specially, the Chipotle.
Among the India resturant in my city, I love "New Krishna" They have lots of variety on their menu and the ambience and taste is too good.
Back home, I love "paranthe wali gali" in Delhi.All sorts of stuffed paranthe, followed by
jalebi with rabdi, just yummm
I love Chinese food too,remember those vans in Delhi. I just love the chowmein, the soup and the manchurian
I inherited my sweet tooth from my Dad and my craving for chaat papdi from my Mom. So guess which is my favorite place to stop by when going to my mom's place(faridabad)? Yeah Haldiram's on the Delhi Mathura Road.
I also like south India cuisine and one of my fav places for south indian cusine here is the
Udipi resturant.

8 things I look forward to
Aayush's voice shouting "Mommy" as soon as I open the door in my house every evening
A Saturday night when I can be up till late and watch all the TV I want to
A hot cup of tea early morning on the weekends (Not made by me !!)
A quiet moment with myself at the end of the day
A quiet and chore-free holiday
Change the layout of my house a bit
Summers, so I can get my lawn back in shape.

8 things that happened yesterday
Paid all my bills online
Got a call from a friend after a long time, since she was gone to India
Ate my lunch away from the computer, for a change
Talked to my mom on the phone for about 25 mins, even though I was late for my work.
Cleaned up my desk
Stood in the office parking lot for a few minutes to watch the sun going down
Made veggie quesadilla for dinner, thinking that would be quick, but then my son demanded aloo paranthas and was back to square one again.
Went to bed early for a change, to catch on some lost zzzz's

8 things I love about winter
Hot steaming coffee and cappucino
Enjoying sun on Sunday afternoons
When all the empty stems of the trees are frozen and they look as if someone put a layer of
glass on them.
Garma garam gajar ka halwa!! Yes, it is the season to have it.
Layering up in jackets and sweaters
Warm showers
Holiday shopping, Christmas lights and decorations all around.
Weeklong shutdown at work(this should have been the first one)

8 things on my wishlist
To find time to read books, just like I used to do it (before my son came along and then I switched to 101 Dalmatians and Barneys)
To be more regular on my blog
To reconnect to all my old friends
To spend more time with Aayush, doing all sorts of activities
To find time for my creative hobbies
Go back to India and be with my family and friends
Start a home based business of my own
Redo my wardrobe all over.

8 things I am passionate about
Music, and that too Bollywood music
My car, yeah I love my car !!
Playing computer gamesd) Google (yeah I google everything and anything !!Wish there was a google for seaches like "I am feeling blue today. why?")
My family
My beliefs and my values
Anything that I want to do.

8 words or phrases I use often
Oh my God
Are ... lekin..
Do you love mommy?
Did you do this?
It's okay.
Thank you
I am going to say this once only.
Okay, but only 5 more minutes.

8 things I learnt from the past
Think and then speak. Yes, you save a lot of fights that way.
It is not always necessary to speak the truth. Some times, Somethings are just better left
unsaid.
Distances do affect your relationships
Money is not everything for life, but it is an important thing for life
Sometimes, just act on your gut feeling instead of trying to logic it out. In most of the
cases, you will be right.
Some friends are forever. and you don't even need to talk to them everyday or even everyweek.
Nothing remains the same in life. Everything changes - Relations, Position, your dreams,
aspirations, your priorities,your likes, dislikes, everything changes with time.
In order to achieve something in life, you need to set your priorities right.

8 places I would love to go, visit or see
Kashmir, India
Goa, India
Varanasi, India (I spent 3 most wonderful years of my life there, so I want to go back there and try to visualize some of those moments)
Ranchi, India (I was botn there and grew up in that place, so I want to go back and see the
changes that city had gone through in all these years)
Paris - I love shopping, what else can I say !!
Nightout in Newyork
A trip to Europe - I looked so magical in DDLJ. Okay, so I know there won'tbe any SRK there but hey, I'd still love the explore the place.
Mumbai - Yeah, I have never been to this wonderful place and want to experience the magic once

8 things I currently need or want
A nice pair of sandals
Some music CDs
Wash my car one of these days
Find a (shortcut and sure, if possible) way to loose that weight !!
Meet my old friends, when I am in India.
Spend lots of time with my brothers and sisters and mom and dad on my trip to India
Learn to Control my temper/anger
Take life one day at a time and not be freaked out about tomorrow.

As for who I want to tag, I'll let the readers decide for themselves if they want to pick up the tag. Do try it, it is fun and it lets you think about yourself a lot.

Bachpan

2009-11-19T09:22:00.000-08:00

Aaah.. just the mention of it brings back so many memories, kuch khaati kuch meethi ..
Such were those days !! Most of my childhood memories are filled around my 2 sisters R and S and lil kiddo brother (He is all married now but for me, still that lil kid, even today)
a) I am the boss
So, these stories go back to the times when it was just 3 of us.And we were like ages 5-6-7 yrs (yeah all 3 of us are a year apart) And because I was the eldest of them, so R and S just accepted whatever crazy explanations I used to give them for all their questions. Every year, during our
summer vacations, we used to come to Delhi to my Nani's place. And the most exciting part of that used to be the 30 hour train journey from Ranchi to Delhi. So, in the train, all 3 of us used to take turns to sit on the window side. We loved to see through lots of fields, stations, huts ... Loved the "white puri (Aka chole bhatoore) at Kanpur station

And one of the interesting things we used to observe was lots of those "star shaped electrical grids". So my "obviously curious" sisters asked me "Mona, Do you know what are these?"

And Ms Mona(yeah, that's me) could never say "I don't know" to any of those questions.

So despite being a 7 yr old myslef, my "intelligent reply" to them was "You see, on Dusshera,you have seen how they burn the Ravan and Meghnad, so these are the frames that are left over after they have burnt those?"
R & S (together, with a weird surprise look) - Really? But why would they burn Ravan near the train lines and so far away from houses?
Me (Feeling very proud, that I have an answer for that too) - Are budhuu !! they do it so that no one gets burn when the Ravans are burnt !!
And they would be so excited, that they counted all the "so called Ravans" throughout the train ride. And now years later, till today, they tease me about that "explanation" I gave them :-)

Any explanation I give to them, is compared to that "response" to rate it on a stupidity scale !!

b) Okay, so this incident relates to my lil brother M. As per my mom, I was the spoiling factor for my brother. (Now tell me, was I spoiling him if I used to do his homework with my left hand when he was getting late in the morning, or covering his copies with brown cover, so that the teacher would not reject his homework, giving him chocolates from my share of money which mamaji used to give me when he used to visit us ??)

Anyways, that's still a debate factor between me and my mom. So one fine afternoon, based on some arguement with mom,he decides that no one loves him in the family and he just doesn't want to live here. So he packs his stuff (which consisted of a box filled with all sorts of colorful marbles, stickers and one of his fav T shirt) and gets out of the house. My mom never pampered her kids, when they threatened her about 2 things: Leaving the house and not eating the food.

So my mom was really cool and I was getting all teary eyed, asking my mom to stop him. And my mom's response was: "He has to realize himself to come back. So just wait and watch and see him come back"
(all this while,my 2 sisters are watching the entire saga and giggling saying "In dono ke drame to hamesha chalu rehte hai !!")
It was a hot summer afternoon in Delhi. We had a park just opposite our house. So M goes there and sits on a bench for some time. Then, I guess he gets thirsty, so he got up and tried to get a sip of water from one of the taps in the park. As you can guess, he did not like that hot water (as
compared to gulping water straight from the fridge water bottle). So he sits there for a while again and then rings the bell at home. I run to answer it, but my mom stops me in between and asks him "Kaun hai? Kya chahiye? (Who is it? What do you want?)"
And M replies: "Ek pani ki bottle to de do!!"
And my mom says "Ghar par aakar apne aap le jao"
He decides he doesn't want it and goes away again. And all through this, I am all hysteric as to what will happen to my lil brother.So he finally roams around in the street for about 45 mins more, then may be realises that the streets are all deserted and it is all hot and humid. So, he finally rings the bell again and says "Yeh mat samajhna ki main wapas aa gaya hoon.Main sirf abhi sone aaya hoon. Uthkar fir se chala jaoonga !!(Don't think I have come back. I am just here to take a nap. I'll leave again after I get up)"
And the rest, you can imagine, what would have happened !! He didn't even remember that he had to leave after he got up. His friends came to call him for their street cricket game and the day just went off. At dinner time, when we reminded him to leave, he was all embarrased and just ignored us !! We tease him till today for that and that fella has one standard answer :Are, teeno behno ka byaah jo karna tha na, isliye ruk gaya :-)" (I just came back because I had 3 sisters to marry off !!)

c) Hum Teen
It was the time when I was probably 8 yrs old and we were still in Ranchi at that time. And my mom had to go to Delhi urgently for a week because my Nanaji was ill. so she asked a lady to cook for us.And instructed all 3 of us to take care of ourselves and my dad properly. And also not to miss school or homework. And again (as always), I was the eldest, so the responsibility was on me to make sure that the other 2 did not create any panga.
So, the day, my mom was to leave, we all went to the railway station to board her in the train. And just as the train had left, we realised, that the home keys were gone with Mom. But the train was also gone.Anyways, so my dad came up with an idea. The train to Delhi from Ranchi also went to few of the other closeby stations like Patratu and Ramgarh.So my dad asked one of his workers to drive to one of those stations and see if he could get the keys from my Mom there. However, all those efforts were futile. so, we came back and now we are trying to find a way to get into our home.So dad gets a ladder, and tried to get into the house through one of the other verendah we had. and he does.Finally, we are in the house. Then the cooking lady's son comes and informs us that she slipped in her house and she won't be able to come and cook
for us !! All of us, including my dad, look at each other's face as to "What do we do now?" (Remember, that was not the era of Maggi/McDonalds/Pizza)
But, me being the eldest, blart off: "Don't worry , Papa. Hum kuch bhi bana lenge !!"And all 3 of us get into the kitchen and make "Aadhi kachi aadhi pakki" rotis and aloo matar sabzi.And my ever darling dad ate that khana, without even letting us know that mirchi was too much and salt was too less. My mom called us back as soon as she reached Delhi (next morning, again remember, that was the era of no-cellphone)
She was not told anything till she came back. She didn't even realize that the keys were gone with her till after a few days.But we 4 had great fun with dad during those days. Hewould come back home from work early every day and take us for a softy at Firayalal.
Those were the days... they were really golden !!I can go on and on and on about those
But I'll be back soon with more stories....Till then
Dil se

Priceless

2009-11-12T18:25:00.000-08:00

Grabbing a 7 layer burrito from taco bell for lunch: $2.79

Buying an olive green sweater: $21.99

Getting your hands on the jeans you have eyeing for months: $45

Playing Dhan-tan-tan at volume 60 while driving car: priceless

And doing all this during your lunch break at work

Heavenly Priceless

The Art of Living

2009-10-27T18:59:00.000-07:00

She said "Please, just for 5 days. 2 of them will be over the weekend. We can manage"

He said "No way, how can I manage the kid all by myself in the evenings, dinner, brush,getting him to bed. It will be too much"

She said "See, for dinner, I'll do the preparations early in the morning. And I'll get out of work an hour earlier and I'll get the dinner ready before I leave"

He said "But then, if he starts asking for mommy,mommy, what will I do?"

She said "I'll start preparing him from today itself. I'll explain it to him and he'll understand. And you can explain to to him just the same way I do when you go for your 3 day seminars and he asks for Daddy Daddy. I'll tell you the trick :-)"

He said "But why do you have to do it?"

She said "For myself, just because I want to do it"

He said "But this is so costly too. With all the other expenses coming up, how will we manage?"

She said "Okay, no eating out for 3 weeks. And I'll give up on the fancy rug I wanted for the kitchen and also the pair of shoes I showed you in Mall"

He said "What? You showed me because you wanted to buy those? You just said "aren't they so trendy?"

She said "Okay, we'll talk on that later. For now, you okay? So am I set?

He said "Okkkkkkkkkkkayyyyyyyy, do whatever you want to do"

So,after this long argument, I was finally able to convince S that I was going to join the Art of Living course, a 5 day seminar centered around Yoga, meditation and breathing techniques. (See their website for more information.)

I needed to clear my mind and heart of a lot of things and that's why this course. It is a nice small group of small, who are all there for different reasons. The instructor is a cheerful young girl, who impressed me with her vibrant energy and intelligence.

My take from the first day of the class: "Expectation reduces joy"

Most of the frustration and agitation in our life is caused by the fact that we have set our expectations for someone/something. So when those expectations are not met, it make us unhappy.

So, the lesson is not that we should not set our expectations. The lesson is that we should be aware of our expectations, and when they are not met and we start getting agitated, have the realization that it is our expectation from the situation and not the situation that is the cause of it.

Some of my other takes from this session:

The present moment is inevitable.
Drop your ego, just let it go...you are not your ego.
Holding on to things is the root cause of misery. Bring you awareness inwards, to things you are holding on to, and just let go
Take everything that happened to you as a blessing! Getting into something is a blessing, getting out of something is also a blessing.
Bring you mind to the present moment by observing your breath. The present moment is the best moment to live. Things change. They don't remain the same forever. There is power in this concept! If you are at a high it will change, if you are at a low it will change. Change is the nature of the universe. So realizing this, one doesn't need to feel stuck with a certain situation because it is bad or stick to a certain situation because it is good.
Don't React but respond to situations and problems This is the first time I went to such a session and I really wanted some peace and clarity of mind. And the session really helped me in achieving that. It gave me an opportunity to look deeply inside myself and question my own self. It gave me a direction to path forward in life. On the side note, my son missed me every time I had to go for this. And I had to tell him that Mommy also had a class to go to, just like he goes to his class in school. And while I was out, Dad and son enjoyed their time in activities like this:

From a mother's heart

2009-10-22T10:50:00.000-07:00

More than often, when we read a story or incident in news, we get only one aspect of it. However, alot more lives may have been affected in many other ways. Read a mother's story at this link:

http://www.oprah.com/article/omagazine/200911-omag-susan-klebold-columbine

(Note: It's long story, but I don't think you'll be able to leave it in between. I could not !!)

Happy Deepawali

2009-10-16T20:52:00.000-07:00

Last few weeks have been a little too much trying for me.

With the festival season and with hubby's B'day also approaching fast, decided to cheer myself up a little. So cleaned up my house tonight (yeah, that is relaxing for me) and also gave my blog a new look. Decorated the pooja ghar, decided on my saree to wear for tomorrow and also finalized the menu for tomorrow night.
Here are the delicacies:
And here comes the sweet dishes:

I hope everything turns out as good as they look in these pictures !!

Here's wishing all of my blogging (and non blogging too) friends a very happy and prosperous Deepawali. May this year bring all sorts of happiness and joys for all of you and your dear ones.

Love
Dil se...

Miracle

2009-10-05T14:06:00.000-07:00

I am lost in the darkness of tunnels ahead

and I am waiting for a miracle ...

For a guiding light to help me out

I am waiting for the words and hands

to help me and my heart heal

Inside and outside...

And lead me out of this darkness

I am waiting for a miracle to happen

For me and For life !!

(I am totally stumped by something happening in my life, and I waiting for some miracle to happen and bring me out of it.)

What do you say?

2009-10-01T13:49:00.000-07:00

"Did you back up everything?"
"Did you confirm with the user about the final changes?"
"Please make sure to document all the process changes."

These were some of the comments/instructions I was giving to one of my project team member this morning before we were getting ready to roll out a major process change.

A few minutes later, he made a comment "I read in one of the Forbes magazine, that most of the financial institutions where women were the lead executives, they survived. And the sole reason was that women are always very cautious,planning ahead for anything and everything !!"

I took it as a compliment for myself :-) and every women, working or not !!
I have worked with female executives in at least 2 of my jobs before and I was impressed by their risk management and planning skills.
And I have seen my mom planning and saving so meticulously for any situation we ever had in life.

What do you all think (I can see all men staring at me and thinking "What? That is so not true !!") But what does your experience say?

Is it a hyped school of thought? Or is there some real sense in this statement?

Note: I have been trying to find the Forbes article he mentioned, and haven't found it so far. Will link the article onceI find it.

Tags and Awards

2009-09-24T09:29:00.000-07:00

I am honored, by yet another award. This one came from one of my favorite bloggers Shruti!!Shruti, thank you so much for the award. And as per the rules, here goes the tag.
Wait, first the rules...
“This award is bestowed upon a fellow blogger whose blog’s content or design is, in the giver’s opinion, brilliant.”
Some rules of the game:

a) Show off your honesty(and modesty) by thanking the person who gave you the award and link to their post.

b) List 10 honest things about yourself, please no cheating here !! that's the fun part.

c) Select 7 other bloggers you think deserve this award and pass it on to them.

d) Notify the bloggers about the award and invite them to be the honest ones next !!

So here, we start...Here are 10 honest things about me.
1) I have a hard time expresssing my real feelings for someone. And saying "No" to anyone is just impossible for me.

2) I still beat up myself quite often to be the reason for my son being born 3 months before his due date !! Specially, when he gets sick for no reason at all !!

3) I still think about the guy I had a crush on long time back and sometimes google him.

4) I am obsessed about being methodical, organised and planning everything.

5) I love having a big family. So if someone can take care of the all the practical hassles for the first 3 years (waking up on night,crying, tantrums, being sick), I would love to have may be .. twin boys and twin girls (What do you say god :-)

6) I tend to live in the past and hang on to a lot of memories from the past. I still have wrappers of chocolates given to me by my friends, torn posters of SRK from my hostel room, my work timesheet for the day I went into labor, reciept of the first B'day cake I got for my son and many many other things!!

7) I do not tend to hate people so easily. I'll try my best to find some thing good or put myself in their shoes. But after a certain limit, I just can't let it go and can never forgive them if they hurt me or anyone close to me.

8) I eat when I am stressed out.

9) I talk to myself and my god when I am really angry or sad or stressed out.

10) And the last one, I did go ahead and change the item I had written previously for item 5.

Phew!! It was hard, for me, but felt a sense of liberating too. Because some of these things I knew about myself but never actually wrote it and acknowledged it.

And now for the list of people whom I want to pass on the award and the tag too !!

Meira : I love her sense of humour,specially the TS-isms

Shilpa: Mid week masala: Super hit !!

Mumbai Diva : I love the simplicity yet the content of her posts.

Reflections:Love her style of writing

Monika: Love her "Lets have fun" and go-getter" attitude.

Bartender Bhai: Her posts make me giggle like anything

Gauri : Makes me think.

Thank you all for making this journey of mine into the blogging world such a pleasant one.

Please accept the award and possibly the tag too. I would love to know more about you.

Dil se...

Cuddle soft

2009-09-22T20:32:00.000-07:00

Men will always be men. Trying to grab every opportunity to not do the work or do it in such a way that the wife can never dare to ask them again. Read it if you don't believe me.

Me: I have to do laundry in a while. Can you please pre-soak some of Aayush's clothes?
S: Can't you do it after you are done with the breakfast?
Me: (Giving him the look)
S: Okay. What a waste of Sunday. Anyways where is the laundry detergent?
Me: It is there on the shelf, in a dark blue container.

(I then wait for 10 minutes to get an acknowledgment that he did it. Otherwise, I know I have to go and remind him again.Because you never know, what BIG thing could have distracted him on his way from living room to the bath room)
(And I don't see him for 20 minutes)
and just then he comes out with a confused look on his face. And I am thinking: O boy !!

S: What kind of detergent did you buy this time? It doesn't lather up at all. What good is a detergent is it cannot lather up at all?
Me: Why what happened?
S: I kept on adding more and more, but it did now show up any lather.And what brand of detergent did you get his time? CUDDLE Soft? Do you even know if it is any good?
Me: Yeah it not good, because it is not a detergent, IT IS A FABRIC SOFTENER.
S: What? They should say it on the bottle. And you said it was the blue bottle.
Me: Yes,there is a blue bottle of detergent too. Only if you could see it carefully and read the label.
S: hmmmmmmmm... such a complicated task !! you should better do it yourself.
Me: Men, men, men, men,manly men !! (singing the "Two and a half men" tune)

Musical Story

2009-09-11T09:36:00.000-07:00

Since music is so close to my heart, I am starting this new series from today.
A lot of songs have a related story/incident with them. So every time, I listen to that song, I can't help but remember that story (and then bore my husband by narrating the same incident again, which he claims he has already listened to 10 times :-)
so here's my first entry in this series:
When I went to study from Delhi to Varanasi, the course I was enrolled in had a very small batch(30 students in each year). And then each batch had very few girls. And being such a small batch,everyone kind of knew everything about fellow students(where they are from, where they did the graduation, which course etc)
So in my batch, there were only 4 girls, including me.
As a result, as you can expect, we used to get a lot of attention and "bhav" from the boys. I was good at my subjects too, so I used to help my classmates and juniors too. But apart from all these, I also used to take all sorts of "pangas" with my friends. See, till the time I was in my hometown, specially school going, I was the most sincere and punctual one in my family (or the "Gandhiji" as my sisters used to tease me)
But as soon as I came to college, and then to VNS, I had this sense of liberation, where I wanted to try every thing that is possible under the sky.
So, for a conservation place like VNS, my activities like going out to market at 8:30 in the evening or responding to the eve teasing remarks were considered very daring.

With all the studies, fun and lots of friends, 3 years just flew like whoooosh
And then came the farewell day, when the juniors threw us a big party.
they selected a title for each of their seniors and also played a song for each one of us.
So, the song they played for me was this and till date, I love this song sooooo much.
Whenever I hear this song, I still listen to it as if it is just for me :-)
Enjoy..
Dil se..

Nach Baliye

2009-09-09T18:12:00.000-07:00

A dance song tag moving around and I am not in? I just could not pass over this opportunity and here they are, my all time favorite dance songs !

1. Mention dance and not Madhuri: That's just not fair. And when she pairs with Prabhudeva, the Indian MJ, the combo is just super. Watch it yourself

2. And then Mads paired up with Karisma in DTPH. Apart from the fact that it was a SRK movie, I loved the movie because of its songs and dance.

3. Dance and Akki: They are not separate from each other. So here's one from Akki's movie which is my fav:

4. Ishk-vishk: I loved Shahid in his first movie and specially this song:

5. And then how can I forget this song from Big B

6. Rangeela girl: I am sure all the guys out there will agree with me on this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrCLBM2IkHc
(Sorry could not find embeddable link for this)

Enjoy !!

Are you smarter than a 3 year old?

2009-09-01T13:15:00.000-07:00

Judge for yourself...

Scene 1:
Yesterday night, bedtime:
Me: Chalo Aayush, sleepy time.
A: Okay. lekin pehle yeh book read karo (First read me this book)
Me: Okay, lets read the story of Simba and Nala. Simba and Nala are playing. Simba wants to play Follow the leader. Nala wants to play Do the opposite.
A: No, It is Oppppppppposite. Aap theek se nahin bol rahe ho.
Me: okay. Opppposite. Is it correct now?
A: No way. Say like me. Oppppppppphos'te (Notice the introduction of f sound and shortening of ee sound between s and t towards the end)(I so wish I had recorded all this)
Me: Okay, thats fine. Lets get back on our story.
A:No way. aap fir se try karo.
Me: Okay Bitto. Oppppppppppphos'te (Really trying my best)
A: No Mumma. Say it with me. Oppppppppho
Me: OppppppppppppppppphoA: S'te
Me: S'te.
A: Opppppppppppphos'te
Me: Oppppppppppppppppppppos'te. Was that okay now.
(Just then his dad walks into the room)
A:(Laughing and giggling to his dad) Mumma ko Oppppphos'te nahin aata.
Me:

Scene 2
Evening time, Aayush riding his bike and me talking a walk.
We were walking near the community center in the apartment complex and there was a party going on there.

A: Wahan kya ho raha hai? (Wha't going on there?)
Me: Wahan shayad kisi ka B'day hai.(I think it is a B'day party)
A: Aayush ko bhi happy B'day karna hai (It was before his B'day in July)
Me: Haan Aayush ka bhi Happy B'day aane wala hai. Then you can have the cake and lots of balloons.
A: aur choo choo train bhi.
Me: Okay, you can have that too.
A (then peeking inside): What are they doing?
Me: They are dancing.
A: That's not dancing. They are just circling around.
Me: It's okay. Lets go and walk that way.
(Just then 2 more female guests arrived.They were a bit scantily dressed, in terms of what A has seen around)
A: Mumma, aunty shayad poore kapde pehanna bhool gayee (I think they forgot to wear all their clothes)
Me:

(Under the breath: Aur tumahre papa ko yeh tension hai ki tu hindi nahin seekh raha hai. Aisi situations mein hindi mein hi bola kar (And your Dad is concerned that you are not learning enough Hindi. You better speak Hindi in such situations)
A: What did you say?
Me: Nothing. Let's just go home.

So, I may be whatever big or small shot I think of myself, I cannot pronounce "OPPOSITE" and I am not smarter than a 3 year old :-)

Let's do it...

2009-08-28T20:19:00.000-07:00

Crochet.....yes that's may latest passion these days. And when I say "latest", I really mean it. I have this habit of starting a project, and then in midway, if it starts getting too long or gets stuck somewhere, I just get bored out of it and whooosh.... it is stashed somewhere in the closet of my other unfinished projects.

But this time, I really really want this project of mine to see the end of the tunnel and not get stashed with its other fellow buddies in the closet.
Almost every weekend, we go to the public library to get some books and DVDs for my son. And every time I am in the library, I definitely make sure to checkout the magazine section. Fiction section has long been lost behind; ever since Aayush gives me just enough time just to flip pages in a magazine and not finish a complete novel/book.
So lately most of the magazines that I check out are either crocheting, quilting or beading project related books. As I was growing up, my mom did make sure to teach me every skill she wanted her daughters to learn - Knitting, crocheting, embroidery, painting, dancing, sewing, cooking - you name it. So I pretty much know the basic stitches and all. But ever since I moved to US, it seems like ages that I have even touched a crochet hook. So I was a little apprehensive about starting a project and that too based on a pattern in the book.

But then this project caught my eye and I just wanted to do it. I just loved the design so much that I immediately got the exact color yarn the very next day. And as of today I am almost 25% into it.

For now, Let's see when the final product is done and how it comes out. And hopefully, this one gets a place on one of my chairs and not just inside the closet :-)

Dil se..

Tadaa..Tag time again

2009-08-27T09:22:00.000-07:00

This time Shilpa tagged me to complete this and here I am on it.
1. What is your current obsession?
Crochet
2. What are you wearing today?
Off white printed top with brown trousers
3. What’s for dinner?
Namkeen chawal with mixed veg raita
4. What’s the last thing you bought?
Set of matching earrings for my fav top
5. What are you listening to right now?
Guy next to me having a low volume arguement with his wife, other guy confirming his daughter's flight and lots of other noises (My office has an open setting and not individual cubicles and headphones are not allowed)
6. What do you think about the person who tagged you?
I like her sense of humour and specially love the midweek masala
7. If pigs could fly…complete the sentence?
I would stay indoors most of the time.
8. What are your must-have pieces for summer?
A white sheer kurta
9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
Faridabad, India
10. What is one thing you want to learn to do?
Swimming
11. What’s your favourite quote?
You don't need to explain to those who understand you.
12. Who do you want to meet right now?
My brother
13. What is your favourite colour?
Blue (that's the color of my car)
14. What is your favourite piece of clothing in your own closet?
My blue jeans
15. What is your dream job?
Work from one with one month paid vacation every year to visit India
16. What’s your favourite magazine?
Real and Simple
17. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?
Buy something nice for home decor.
18. What do you consider a fashion faux pas?
Fat women waering a low cut top
19. Who are your style icons?
noone in particular. Anything I see around, which is easily manageable and affordable is my style.
20. What kind of haircut do you prefer?
short and easily manageable
21. What are you going to do after this?
Head back home
22. What are your favourite movies?
Rang De Basanti, All SRK movies, old comedies like Golmal, chupke chupke
23. What are three cosmetic/makeup/perfume products that you can’t live without?
Face moisturiser, Lip gloss and mascara
24. What inspires you?
My inner voice
25. What part of life would you chose if you could change/rewind you life, it would be (changed)
My 3 years at BHU, if I could rewind my life, I would want to relive those years(most probably in a little different way now )
26. What do you do when you "have nothing to wear" (even though your closet’s packed)?
Go for my black trousers
27. Coffee or tea?
Nescafe coffee
28. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed?
Listen to music or talk to Mom
29. What is the meaning of your name?
A Flower
30. Which other blogs you love visiting?
All the ones on my blogroll and then on the blogroll of the ones I visit
31. Favorite Dessert/Sweet?
Suji halwa, with lots of kishmish and badaam
32. Favorite Season ?
Summer.
33. If I come to your house now, what would u cook for me?
If you are coming on such a short notice, then either a quick dhokla or sandwich with tea/coffee (whatever u prefer)
34. What is one book that you would suggest the whole world reads?(new question)
Fountainhead. I got it as a B'day gift and I have read it so many times and still can read it anytime.

Phew !! See, this wasn't bad at all. So here are the official rules of this tag:
Respond and rework – answer these questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own, and add one more question to the list. Then tag eight or ten other new set of people.
I am leaving the people to be tagged open. So take it if you haven't done it yet (or you can just leave the comment and not take it :-)
Dil se..

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOP...

2009-08-21T07:25:00.000-07:00

I saw this tag on shilpa's blog and decided to take it up. Trying to find various things starting with the first alphabet of my own name... it was fun !!

If you wish to take up the tag, copy the following questions to your own note, erase my answers, enter yours, and tag your friends. Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real and nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can’t use your name for the boy/girl name question.

So here we go, all P's.......
1. What is your name: Parul
2. A four Letter Word: Piscean (That's what I am, dear)
3. A boy’s Name: Pulkit, Prateek, Pritesh (all are my cousin's names)
4. A girl’s Name: Payal, Pooja, Pallavi (Again all cousins)
5. An occupation: Pediatrician (He's on my speed dial #3)
6. A colour : Purple(I don't like the dark one, but love the lighter shade)
7. Something you wear: PJs at night, Pants at work
8. A food: Pani Puri(any time), Paranthas(any kind)
9. Something found in the bathroom: Pears soap
10. A place: Paris (I want to go on a vacation there once)
11. A reason for being late: parking lot full
12. Something you shout: pikloooooo(that's what I call my kiddoo when he acts cute)
pehle meri baat suno (and that to my hubby when we argue)
13. A movie title: Phir Milenge(I loved Shilpa in the movie)
14. Something you drink: Pepsi, sometimes only. I am not a big fountain drinker
15. A musical group: pink floyd? ( I don't know much about the music groups, just that
this is the name I have heard that starts with my alphabet :-)
16. An animal: Panda
17. A Street name: Peace Road (In Ranchi, that's where I grew up)
18. A type of car: Porche (I would love to have one )
19. A song title: Pyar ke liye char pal kam nahin they, kabhi tum nahin they, kabhi hum
nahin they
20. A verb: parenting, packing
Let's see who all do I want to tag:
Sara
Iya
Meira

And anyone who comments can take up the tag. Com'on folks !! Give it a try. It is fun to explore an alphabet and you'll enjoy it. I know, I did :-)
Dil se..
(Image: Downloaded from http://www.adorableideas.com/product_info.php?products_id=8652)

Little things go a long way

2009-08-14T09:45:00.000-07:00

Every morning after I reach work, the first thing I need is my cup of coffee before I can get my head into work. And I am generally the last one to go to cafeteria to get my coffee (and that is because royal me gets to work late after dropping my little prince to his school :-))

So this morning, when I went to cafeteria to get my coffee, I noticed that the coffee mate machine (used to dispense creamer) was leaking. When I went to the billing counter, I told this to the cafeteria lady that her coffee mate machine was leaking all over. She immediately went inside and fixed it. When she came back, she said "All morning people have come here and had their coffee and left. Nobody bothered to even let me know. Your coffee and bagel is on me today. Enjoy !!"

My first blog award

2009-08-14T06:50:00.000-07:00

Yahooooooooo

I got my first blog award. And it has been awarded by shilpa

Thank you Shilpa and Congrats to crafty and hitchwriter too !!

And I enjoying remembering those dialogues so much.

First trying to put those dialogues on empty faces and identifying those faces.

Once those faces were identified, then fitting thsoe in the list of movies I had in my mind...

Wow !!

And all those movies were the ones I have seen N number of times and I am sure all of you must have too.

I mean, who can forget those hilarious lines from Golmal, chupke chupke, padosan, andaz apna apna, jaane bhi do yaaron !! or those "cheesy" lines from Deewar, MPK :-)

Wow !! East or west, apna bollywood is the best !! Jai ho !!

Dil se..

Pets or kids? Err.. what do you think?

2009-08-10T09:42:00.000-07:00

A colleague of mine made a very disturbing(for me) comment some time back. It made me think a lot. Let me know what you people have to say about it:

"I would rather have 2 pets than having a kid. My wife wants to have one, but see my theory is, if the kids grow up and do not turn out as I wanted them to be, then it is going to be a huge disappointment for me. But with pets, it is never the case. They will just behave the way you want."

The first thought that came to my mind after hearing this was :What if your parents had thought the same way?

Let me tell you something else too: This person comes from a very different culture and background that I am from. So I generally try not to be too judgemental on the person because I may not be knowing all the facts about them. But when X said this, I said to myself "You are better off with a pet only."

Vegetarianism - Is it such a difficult concept to understand?

2009-08-05T08:50:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: This post of mine is in no way intended to offend the people who eat meat products or to promote vegetarianism. This post simply reflects my thoughts and opinions when people question my vegetarianism, and that too an extent which throws me off.

"So you have never had any kind of meat in your life?"

"You don't even eat eggs?"

"You must be eating the seafood then?"

"what do you eat, then, for like dinner?"

"How do you make sure you are getting enough proteins in your diet?"

"And you do not allow your son also to eat meat products?"

"How do you bake a cake then?"

"Do you feel restricted when it comes to choices you have when eating outside?"

So, this is just a sample of questions I am showered with when I tell people that I do not eat meat or eggs. and it happens everytime I mention this. So much so, that now I have stopped mentioning it explicitly and occassionally try to avoid group lunches at work.

Why is vegetarianisn such a difficult concept for people to grasp?

Why can't it be a lifestyle I chose and not be related to religion or a medical condition?

Vegetarianism is a perfectly healthy lifestyle, which started for me as a part of the religion I belong to. But over time, it has become a preferred lifestyle for me. I have stayed in hostel for 3 years, worked out of my hoemtown for about a year and have lived in US all by myself for about 6 months. All these times, it would have been more convenient for me if I had opted for food choices that were more readily available. But somehow I couldn't bring myself to do that.

And now even after living in US for about 7 years now, and that too in locations where Indian grocery items are not easily available, I never felt the need to reconsider my decision or felt restricted in my options.

I am perfectly happy with my lifestyle as I explore new receipes for cakes and pies everytime I bake them, as I try all different combinations of 10 different lentils available in grocery stores, as I explored new food options such as tofu, coucous, 10 different varieties of greens, salad combinations, variety of cheeses, pastas and yogurts.

And as for my son goes, I am following the same policy which my mom followed. As long as he is too young to make his decisions, I would make this decision for him so that at least he knows what lifestyle he came from. But once he iscapableof making his own decisions, it's all upto him and I would be happy for him either way.

So, why this blog? Well, when people ask me all those questions, sometimes, it is not the occassion or time to give all the above explanation. But I always feel singled out in the crowd, which is not a comfortable feeling for me. And I always want to say some or all of these things to them. So what better way then to blog it off...

Dil se...

A B C D.... and more

2009-07-31T09:59:00.000-07:00

So I saw this tag on hitch writer's blog and decided to take it up. And this is the first time I am doing a tag, but I must say I enjoyed a lot doing it.
So following the rules he posted:

I did link his post here
Rules: Just one rule here: If you post a comment, you are tagged !!

So here goes the ABC's of my life:

A – Available/Single? I am not single but always available for my friends and family.
B – Best friend? Had a fight and lost the friend. But the person still remains my best friend. Actually, I was told that I am the best friend for that person.
C – Cake or Pie? Bring them both !! Always ready for sweets
D – Drink of choice? Garma garam chai, with lots of adrak
E – Essential item you use every day? car, laptop, cell phone
F – Favorite color? white, green
G – Gummy Bears Or Worms? ewww... none please
H – Hometown? Faridabad, Haryana and I so miss the place
I – Indulgence? lots of them...Music, movies, memories, dreams
J – January or February? Definitely February because it's my B'day and anniversary month.
K – Kids & their names? Aayush
L – Life is incomplete without? Love and caring of my near and dear ones
M – Marriage date? Feb 10, it rained cats and dogs on that day :-)
N – Number of siblings? 3
O – Oranges or Apples? None !! I am not a fruit person...shhh don't tell this to Aayush/his dad
P – Phobias/Fears? Drowning in water and snakes
Q – Quote for today? I've learnt that when you're in love, it shows.
R – Reason to smile? Remembering someone special
S – Season? Definitely spring, when days are long enough and there is a pleasant smell in the air
T – Tag 3 People? Well, I'll let the people decide on their own to be tagged :-)
U – Unknown fact about me?Even I don't know
V – Vegetable you don’t like? Actually none.
W – Worst habit? Staying up till late on Friday and Saturday and hence getting up late on Sat/Sun(This is according to me, ppl who know me may have a long list for this)
X – X-rays you’ve had? Numerous, have lost count now
Y – Your favorite food? Anything decent and me not cooking.
Z – Zodiac sign? Cool Piscean

So that's the ABC's of my life. So go ahead, leave your comments and there, you are tagged now !!

Dil se...

Oh Boy !! July is here - Part II - Happy B'day Aayush

2009-07-27T20:25:00.001-07:00

Here comes the most important B'day for July - July 28 - my own - as a mom, as mumma, as Mommy...
For my little Aayush.
The little angel came into my life as a ray of sunshine, as a bundle of joy, with bags of laughter and loads of smiles.
He was in fact in such a hurry to come to me that he put in a special appeal in God's court to see his Mom Dad early. And God said: "No kid !! Wait for a few more days"
But that naughty fellow crawled out of there and jumped right into my arms :-)

I still remember that day clear as crystal...
Me and S went to our work locations as usual
Had my regular checkup scheduled with my OBGYN in the afternoon
When I reached there, the doctor's office was full with patients. S had to return to his office for a meeting, so he got frustrated on seeing that the doctor's office had overbooked appointments.
For a moment, we thought "Let's just reschedule for tomorrow"
But then they called our name and we were in.

The nursing assistant started the exam and I somehow didn't like the look on her face.
She paused for a second and asked "Have you had any pain or any sensation"
And I said "I had a strange sensation last night. I am going to talk to the doctor about it"
And she just rushed to get the doctor immediately.
The doctor came back, took a look at the exams and said "We have to take you to the hospital. There is no fluid in the body"

And I was blank. Unable to realize what was going on or what was happening. Felt as if someone pulled the grounds off my feet.
And within moments, I was on stretcher and then in an ambulance rushing to the hospital.
Once at the hospital, the doctors were in a dilemma whether to deliver the baby so early or not. Finally after about 4 hours from when it all started, the doctors finally decided to deliver the baby.
In the delivery room, one of the nurses I had become friends with, asked me "Parul, what do you think it is, a boy or a girl?" And I said "It is a boy, That's what my heart says."
The nurse said "Oh, and I think it is a girl !!" Let's see who will be right !!

And then at 4:16 PM on July 28, here he came !! My life, my smile, my love, my soul !!
He came in this world to teach me so many things ...
to love without any condition ....
to smile without any reason .....
to dance without any music .....

Thank you my son for giving me the privilege of my life
For bringing back light into our lives...
For curling your fingers around mine to hold me...
for making me AAYUSHMOM

Love you my bittu
Dil se....

आज आयुष को क्या खाना है?

2009-07-10T11:19:00.000-07:00

हम बड़े भले ही अपनी रोज़ की भाग दौड़ में व्यस्त होकर कुछ एक छोटी छोटी बातें भूल जाते है..ळेकिन बच्‍चो को छोटी से छोटी बातें याद रहती है. अपने बेटे को हर रोज़ स्कूल छोड़ने से पहले मैं उसे बताती हूँ की मैने उसके लंच बॉक्स में क्या दिया है और उसे याद दिलाती हूँ अपना खाना खाने के लिए. हर रोज़ की तरह आज भी तैयार हो रहे थे और हर रोज़ की तरह आज फिर देर हो रही थी. जल्दी में मैने बस उसका लंच उसके बैग में रखा और उसे चलने के लिए कहा. आयुष एक मिनिट के लिए रूका और फिर बोला " आज आयुष को क्या खाना है?"मुझे तुरन्तअपनी ग़लती का एहसास हुआ और मैने कहा"आज आयुष को मुम्मा ने चावल दिए है पनीर वाले !"उसपर उसका जवाब था"बस चावल? (हर रोज़ मैं उसे दो चीज़े देती हूँ)"नहीं, और साथ में गोभी की परांठा भी दी है"और इतने से जवाब से उसका चेहरा ऐसे खिल गया, जैसे उसे कोई उसकी खोई हुई चीज़ मिल गयी हो
मेरे छोटे से बेटे ने मुझे अपनी भोली सी बात से एक बहुत बड़ी बात सीखा दी - ज़िंदगी को भागते हुए जीने की जगह उसमे कभी कभी comma, semicolon भी लगाना चाहिए !!

(We grownups, in our daily rush, tend to forget the little things in life। But kids, they remember even the smallest of things। Before dropping off my son to his school, everyday I tell him what I have packed for his lunch and remind him that he needs to eat his lunch
So, like everyday, we were getting ready this morning too, and as usual were getting late too. So in a hurry, I just put his lunch in his bag and asked him to hurry. He stopped, looked at my face and said "What should Aayush eat today?" I immediately realized my mistake and said "Mommy has given some rice for lunch for Aayush"And his reply was "Just rice? (Normally I give him at least 2 main items)"No, and I also packed you gobhi parantha"And his face immediately lit up as if he found a lost toy or something.
My little son taught me a very important lesson with his innocent talk - Try to put a comma or a semicolon in non stop running life.)

Oh Boy !! July is here: Part I

2009-07-09T19:57:00.000-07:00

Just sometime back, year 2009 had just started and now July is already here. Wow, time really flies :-)
Anyways, July is important for me because I have so many birthdays to remember in this month. I really try my best to remember almost all of them.
Well, the 2 most important of them are of my 2 cancerian siblings, my lil sis Shweta or Golu as we lovingly used to call her and my still kid like brother, Adish or Mannu, as we all at home like to call him.

The earliest memories of Golu...she was the youngest one, so before my brother came in, she got the privilege to sleep closest to mumma at night. Whenever me and Ritu(my middle sister) used to have a fight, we could fight with eah other, but it was a unsaid pact that whatever we were fighting over,Golu would have the first share on that.
All 3 of us used to go the same school in Ranchi. Me being the eldest, was responsible for making sure that I took both of them to the home to school and back to home safely and with responsibility.
So when we would be walking to the bus stop, we had a default pattern in which we would walk: picture this, I would be carrying my school bag and would be on the side of the road where traffic was going. Ritu would be carrying her own school bag. And Golu would be in between both of us, just carrying the water bottle, hanging on her neck. And me and Ritu would take turns in carrying Golu's bag, exchanging turns some time around mid way.

At the beginning of every school year, my mom made it a point to take all 3 of us to a photo studio to get a picture taken for all 3 of us in school uniform.(yes, that was the time when digital cameras were unheard of an getting a picture taken at a studio was almost considered a luxury).
Even in those pictures, our posing pattern remained the same: Me and Ritu on the sides and Golu in the middle.
Even years later, we tease her saying: "We were scared you would run away"
And she teases me and Ritu back saying: " Mom gave me my own security guards right from the beginning"

Golu is now a mom of yet another cute pari today. But for me, she is still my little girl, my little Golu. A very Happy B'day dear sis !! May you have all the happiness you ever wished for.
Love you always

So, the next cancerian in my family is my kiddo brother. Okay, he is already married but for me , he is still that little brother who used to ask me just before going to the school: "Didi, please is copy par cover chadha do na !! Promise, kal se raat ko hi bata doonga"
Or the brother whom I pampered so much that I used to do his homework in left hand so that a) he would not get punished at the school for not doing the homework and b) the teacher does not know that it's me and not him who did the homework !!
He's the same cute brother of mine who once at the age of 5, decided that his mom was being too strict and he was going to leave home.So he packs up all his stuff (which included a box full of marbles, stickers, some balls and his favorite cap) and leaves the house in the summer afternoon. But then comes back home after about one hour later because the water tap in the park was not as cold as the one in the refrigerator at home.

He's still the same brother for me whose incomplete homeworks, mid term and final exams gave me more anxiety attacks than they bothered him.
Whenever we had a sibling fight, me and Mannu were one team and Ritu, Golu were another team.
He's the best brother any sister could ever ask for
One who observes everything happening but waits for the right moment and occasion to express his emotion.
One who understands his sisters so well, he can tell them by their voice whether they are worried about anything

God I miss him so much today !! I so search him in my son, in his actions, in his sweet talks.

May he finds happiness at every step in life.
May nothing bad ever even touch the air around him.
Love you bhai..

Dil se..

Simple pleasures of the day

2009-07-08T19:32:00.001-07:00

Sometimes simple, small things during the day are big enough to make your day worthwhile !! So much so, that you sleep with a smile on your face.

I woke up to find that my sweety li'l pie was much better now after a week long fever that he had (touch wood !!). After waking him up with my daily routine of hide and seek with him, we both got ready for office/school. Even after this long break, he didn't forget to do his little routine of "Jai jai bye bye pyaari kissi see you" to bhagwan jee in my little temple in the house. And then kissing mom a very sweet "Love you mumma !!"

After dropping him off, the way to my work is exactly 2 songs long (yes, that's the way I measure how far the place is). So the 2 songs that started my pleasant day are here: (My all time favorite hummable songs)

And this song from khushboo:(classic combo of Gulzar and RDB)

And then, the sweet topping on my day was watching my little guy playing and giggling with his best friend. They met each other as if they had met after decades.

Such days make me realize the importnce of what all I have ...
to cherish what is here today...
to enjoy what might change tomorrow..

Dil se..

Love you, Papa

2009-06-23T09:34:00.000-07:00

Sorry Papa, fir late ho gayee !!I know how punctual you are, mumma to aapko "Military man" kaha karti hai aapki is aadat ke liye !!Aur aap ka kehna hai " jo waqt ki kadar nahin karta, waqt uski kadar nahin karta" (Movie Waqt shtyle :-)

aur isliye shaddiyon mein hum baraat se pehle pahunch jaate they, tent walo ka saath dene ke liye :-)

Lekin seriously Papa, aapko dekhte hue jaise badi hui aapki betiyan , ab jakar samajh mein aata hai kitna kuch seekha aapse !!Jab College mein thi na, to ek baar fresher's party mein ek ladki se poocha gaya
"What's your idea of an ideal life partner?"
and her reply was "Just like my father!!"

And I remember her reply to this date।Kyonki life ke har chote chote palon mein aap kaise karte they, yeh yaad aata hai

- Kaise Ranchi mein, apni business life style mein bhi aap hamesha time nikal kar hum teeno ko routine se har sunday ko firayalal ki softy dilane lekar jaate they
- Kaise mummy se chup kar hamari report card sign kar dete they agar kisi ke number kam aate they
- school days main agar baarish ho rahi hoti to hamein uthate waqt kehte "aaj school mein to na koi teacher aayegi na koi bacha, kya karoge jaakar, so jao". Aur mummy apna sar pakad leti ki yahan to papa hi bachon ko school nahin bhejna chahte !!
- Madhu muskan aur chacha chaoudhary ki latest comics sabse pehle hamare paas hoti thi
- ‪ Movie hall mein jab ghar se sab movie dekhne jaate aur mujhe darr lagta to poore teen ghante aap mujhe lekar baahar ghoomte rehte aur mujhe cream rolls khilate
- Jab mummy ko Nanaji ko dekhne delhi aana pada, aapki choti choti betiyan aapko jaisa khana bana kar deti thi, aap use bhi chatkhare lekar khate they !! Hum teeno ne apni cooking ke saare experiments aap par kiye aur aapne saare experiments hamesha "First class" kehkar paas kiye
- Life mein kitne utaar chadhav aaye lekin koi bhi toofan aapke chehre se woh muskurahat aur aapka "First class" dialogue nahin hata paya !!
- Jis papa ko hamne bachpan mein bua ko friends ke saath movie jaane par mana karte hue dekha tha, usi papa mein itna change dekha ki woh turant apni beti ko job ke liya akele B'lore tak jaane ke liye ready ho gaye, shaadi se pehle uski pasand-napasand ka khayaal kiya !! You were way ahead of all who talk about being advanced but are not at all !!)

Thanks you Papa for giving us the confidence to be what we wanted to be, the courage to do what we wanted to do and the values to be what we are today.
Love you today and always
Mona
Dil se...

My singing buddy

2009-06-12T20:23:00.000-07:00

Did it ever happen to you in life that one thing which you really love to do and wanted to share it with someone close in your life, it turns out your better half has an exact opposite taste on that?
Well, it happened to me.

I just love music, and not just listening, but also humming along with it, or as Puja said in Lamhe "main ga kahan rahi thi, main to gungunaa rahi thi"
And S has totally opposite taste when it comes to music. In terms of choice of songs, on the level of volume at which I like to hear, everything. And if I try to hum the songs while they are playing, he can think of the all sorts of parodies for those songs just to tease me.

So when li'l A came in my life, as a part of my daily routine of putting him to bed, every night I used to sing him one of my favorite songs. And one of those songs has been "Halke halke aayee chalke" from Movie Apne Paraye.
What I never realized is, that over so many nights, hearing those songs over and over, A also picked up those songs. And a few weeks back, when I started singing the song for him, he started singing with me, in his sweet cute voice.
Ever since then, it has been our kind of daily routine. Every night, he'll pick up one of the songs he wants to sing.
So, now my li'l A is my new singing buddy.
And my day ends with a smile on my face..
Never realized such small things can bring so big happiness in life ...
dil se..

PS: Just in case you are interested, here's the song I mentioned. I just love this song, the way it was picturized on Shabana. I specially memorized the lyrics of this song, so I could sing it to A:

PS: Also read Sara's post here about her budding writer.